Chapter 187
Su Bin was deeply conflicted but had no choice. The ring was something he absolutely had to buy. Once he proposed, Allen would understand his feelings. Until then, no matter how much Allen acted difficult (maybe he wasn’t), he couldn’t compromise.
Moreover, Mr. Shen had offered him a job that was sufficient for him to be independent. Many people would wish for such an opportunity, and most importantly, it was a material guarantee that allowed Su Bin to stay in B country and be with Allen.
Thinking of this, Su Bin quickly adjusted his mood and arrived at Mr. Shen’s house. When he entered, he faintly heard the sound of water coming from the bathroom… Was Mr. Shen taking a shower?
The house had the heating on high. Su Bin took off his coat and hung it up, then went to the kitchen to start preparing dinner. It wasn’t until he heard Mr. Shen’s voice from behind him—”You’re here”—that he turned around.
Su Bin looked over to see Mr. Shen wrapped in a bath towel on his upper body, wearing only sleep pants on the lower half, his chest fully exposed.
Normally, since they were both men, it wouldn’t be anything unusual, but somehow, Su Bin’s mind suddenly flashed back to what Sun Yujie had said to him earlier, making him feel awkward. He quickly turned away.
Mr. Shen, seeing Su Bin’s reaction, couldn’t help but smile, drying his hair with the towel. He casually asked, “What are you cooking tonight?”
Su Bin answered, “Potato chicken, celery with pork, and creamy cheese baked mushrooms.”
Mr. Shen looked at Su Bin’s back and said, “Stay and have dinner with me tonight.”
Su Bin hesitated. “Ah, I’ve already made plans with my roommate…”
Mr. Shen replied nonchalantly, “Oh, then forget it.”
Su Bin felt a little awkward and, unable to help himself, thought about whether Mr. Shen might actually be interested in him. Unintentionally, he tried to probe: “Mr. Shen, why don’t you get a girlfriend? One who could take care of you, so you wouldn’t need a personal assistant.”
Mr. Shen chuckled. “Take care of me? A girlfriend wouldn’t even let me take care of her, let alone me needing help.”
Su Bin thought about his one past girlfriend and some of the girls he knew now. Most didn’t cook, but there were still some who were gentle, considerate, and could take care of people. With Mr. Shen’s good conditions, if he wanted to find someone, he could definitely find someone suitable.
Mr. Shen asked, “So, you want me to get a girlfriend just to replace you?”
Su Bin shook his head in explanation, “I just thought… don’t you sometimes feel lonely?”
Mr. Shen replied, “That’s why I asked you to stay and have dinner with me.”
Those words immediately made Su Bin feel a twinge of guilt. He felt like it would be cruel to refuse to have dinner with Mr. Shen, but then again, having dinner with someone wasn’t really his responsibility, so why feel guilty?
After a brief pause, Mr. Shen said, “If I wanted companionship, I think someone like you would be fine. You can cook, you’re quiet, considerate, and there’s no need for it to be a girlfriend, right?”
Su Bin blurted out, “But I’m a man!”
Mr. Shen looked at him as he dug himself deeper and couldn’t help but laugh. “So what if you’re a man?”
“Uh…” Su Bin shivered, afraid the conversation would go in an increasingly weird direction. He quickly changed the topic.
When he got home, Allen was indeed sulking. Su Bin made Allen’s favorite red wine pan-seared steak. He managed to coax Allen down from upstairs to sit at the table, but Allen still wasn’t showing a good face. Su Bin was so anxious he almost wanted to feed him himself.
That evening, Su Bin did everything he could to serve Allen. In a fit of frustration, Allen left several bite marks on Su Bin’s neck, some of which couldn’t even be covered by his clothes. Su Bin sighed at Allen’s behavior, but still let him do as he pleased.
Being physically close to the one you love always makes one immersed in a sweet whirlpool, temporarily forgetting all troubles. Su Bin felt the same. In that moment, he suddenly understood why Sun Yujie treated Cheng Ang with such low submission. Even if he couldn’t get love and promises, having a relationship with the other person was enough.
Watching Allen hold onto him like a beloved toy, never letting go, Su Bin thought, at least in this moment, he was needed.
The next day, the same issue arose again. But just as Su Bin was about to leave, Allen stopped him and handed him a card.
“What’s this?” Su Bin looked at the bank card in his hand, confused.
Allen said, “Don’t go work. Whatever salary he’s paying you, I’ll pay you instead.”
Su Bin: “…”
Allen crossed his arms and said, “You cook and clean for that man to make money, but you do the same thing for me to make money.”
Su Bin’s face changed. He pushed the card back at Allen and said, “This is different!” He didn’t want Allen to misunderstand, but that was definitely not the response he wanted to hear.
Allen expressionlessly stated, “What’s different? You do almost the same thing for him.”
Su Bin felt helpless and didn’t know what to say. He did the work for Mr. Shen to earn money, but for Allen, he did it out of love!
Allen continued, “Since it’s the same thing, then I’ll buy out all 24 hours of your day.”
Su Bin angrily replied, “Even if you want all my 24 hours, it has to be because I willingly give it to you!”
Allen: “…”
Afraid that if he kept confronting Allen, he might say something even more extreme, Su Bin left in a huff, saying, “I can’t take your money,” and stormed out.
Allen stood there, staring at the direction Su Bin had left, stunned and unable to react for a long time.
Since meeting this person, Allen had only ever seen Su Bin’s attentive, eager-to-please side. Suddenly being treated this way, he found it hard to accept—this brat actually dared to talk back and walk away in front of him!
—Didn’t he always say he loved me? Then why should anyone else matter to him? And cooking, that should only be for me, shouldn’t it?
He had never cared about anyone like this, wanting to be with him every moment, not wanting him to leave his sight for even a minute… After all this time, they finally had some time off, but this guy still had to spend three hours every day running off to cook and do laundry for another man!
The more Allen thought about it, the angrier he became. His face darkened as he schemed about how to deal with Su Bin when he came back, planning to make him cry, hear his apologies and pleas, and then lock him up until he surrendered!
While working, Su Bin kept thinking about what had just happened and felt miserable. He was also a man, with his own pride and the ability to stand on his own. What did Allen think of him, treating him like this?
“I don’t want your money, I want your love.” — But Su Bin couldn’t bring himself to say something so melodramatic.
He had always been waiting for Allen to accept him wholeheartedly, but the things Allen said made Su Bin feel like a fool, and even worse… like a submissive.
The grievances that had been brewing for so long finally started to ferment, and Su Bin completely fell into a pessimistic mood.
Maybe the heavens gave him this second chance as a punishment. Perhaps in this life, he would never be able to receive Allen’s love. Thinking about the repeated history, maybe this was the universe’s way of reminding him to keep his distance from Allen. That way, Allen wouldn’t die in the future…
While working, Su Bin was so lost in thought about Allen that he accidentally cut his finger. The blood dripped onto the cutting board and the counter, and Su Bin stared blankly at the bloodstains, suddenly reminded of the time in his past life when Allen had died from blood loss… In an instant, he felt a chill run through his body, and tears began to flow uncontrollably.
Seeing Su Bin like this, Shen Ling, who had been keeping an eye on him, quickly rushed over. “What happened?” His face turned serious as he grabbed Su Bin’s hand to stop the bleeding. After tending to the wound, he noticed Su Bin was crying, unsure whether to feel sorry for him or laugh at him.
“You’re an adult, and you’re crying over a small cut?” He grabbed a tissue to wipe Su Bin’s tears, his tone softening as he asked, “Does it hurt?”
Su Bin pulled his hand away and shook his head.
“Then why are you crying?” Shen Ling smiled and lightly teased him, “I haven’t even scolded you yet. You weren’t paying attention while using the knife. Really, it’s hard to trust you.”
“Mr. Shen, I’m sorry…” Su Bin sobbed, unable to hold back any longer. He broke down in tears, “This is the last time. I won’t come back tomorrow… Wuwu…” He didn’t want to make Allen unhappy.
Shen Ling: “…”
It wasn’t until he saw the blood earlier that Su Bin realized his mistake—he had been given a second chance to make up for the things he had failed to do in his past life. He had wanted to stay with Allen and make him happy, but now, he had lost sight of his original intention, all for the sake of buying a ring.
Allen had wanted to buy his time because he wanted Su Bin to be with him more. Su Bin had always known that Allen was a proud person, and maybe he couldn’t say something romantic right away, but why hadn’t he figured this out sooner?
Compared to spending more time with the person he loved, was his pride really that important?
… Su Bin, you’re such an idiot!
Seeing the young man in front of him crying like a child, something soft in Shen Ling’s heart was touched. He couldn’t help but want to comfort him, but when he reached out, Su Bin raised his hand to block him.
Su Bin blinked his eyes like a deer and pouted. “Mr. Shen, I already like someone else.”
Shen Ling paused, a bitter smile crossing his face. “I know.”
Su Bin awkwardly said, “That person isn’t you…”
“Do you think my emotional intelligence is negative?” Shen Ling lightly tapped Su Bin on the head and sighed, “But I like you.”
Su Bin: “…” Sun Yujie, you’re a curse!
With his finger injured, Su Bin couldn’t continue cooking. Shen Ling didn’t pressure him, and generously gave him two extra days of wages.
“I really like the food you cook. If you have time, could you come and cook for me as a friend?” Shen Ling asked.
Su Bin nodded. “If there’s a chance…” If Allen’s possessiveness remained this strong, there might never be a chance.
Before they parted ways, Shen Ling jokingly said to Su Bin, “If that person doesn’t want you, remember to come find me.”
Su Bin sighed, “Even if he doesn’t want me, I’ll still cling to him…”
Shen Ling: “…” Someone who could be loved by Su Bin was truly fortunate, it must be a blessing from their past life!
On his way home, Su Bin took out his phone, eagerly sending a message to Allen—“Allen, it’s Su Bin.” That’s right, this was the first time in this life he had sent a text to Allen.
“I’m sorry, it was my fault earlier. I’ve already quit my job.”
“I won’t be working anymore, and I’ll spend more time with you.”
“I’m on my way home now. What would you like to eat tonight?”
…
One message after another, but no reply came. Su Bin couldn’t tell if Allen hadn’t seen the messages or if he didn’t want to respond… There was no way he had gotten the number wrong, right?
He started to panic. Christmas Eve was the next day, and if Allen was upset with him over what happened today and gave him the cold shoulder, then he was doomed.
Without a job, without any friends around, and if Allen still wasn’t talking to him… Was there anyone in this world more miserable than him?
As he thought about it, he felt a bit down, repeatedly opening and closing the messaging app. Then he saw a bank notification on his phone about his salary being deposited. Su Bin had an idea and immediately took a taxi to the jewelry store in the city center. He bought the ring he had admired in his past life as quickly as he could.
Of course, his wages weren’t enough, so he had to use half of his living expenses from his card.
“I’m buying a gift for you right now, I might be a little late coming back,” he texted.
Allen had once said that if he was angry, all Su Bin had to do was keep sending messages, and eventually, he would respond.
Su Bin foolishly believed the words Allen had said, trusting that this life’s Allen was the same.
So he kept sending messages: “Don’t be angry anymore.”
“If you see this message, please reply.”
“I’m begging you.”
…
As he got closer to home, Su Bin became more and more nervous, sweating all over. Just as he reached the door, his phone suddenly vibrated. Su Bin excitedly looked at the screen to see a message from Allen, his fingers trembling as he opened it.
When he saw the message, Su Bin almost cried again—
Allen: “I don’t want the gift. I want you.”
