But before he could finish speaking, the hand he had reached out was suddenly slapped away hard by Mo Xi with a sharp “smack.”
“……”
The smile on Gu Mang’s face froze. Something subtle seemed to flicker in his deep-blue eyes, but that glimmer lasted only an instant before he once again returned to that faint, cool smile.
“Are you angry?”
Mo Xi said nothing. He merely endured some emotion that was about to overflow, glaring at Gu Mang.
At this moment, the expression on his face was both like that of a dog whose master had broken its heart and like a cat whose tail had been stepped on. Sorrow and pride gathered simultaneously upon his pale face. There was even moisture in his eyes, yet he stubbornly held himself up with haughty dignity, biting his snow-white teeth as he stared at Gu Mang fiercely and arrogantly.
After a long while, suppressing the tremble in his voice, he said softly, “I just have to believe you. I’m not like you. I can’t treat everything as something I can casually throw away.”
“……”
Gu Mang was silent for a moment before giving a mocking laugh. “See? You’re still laughing at Wu Yan. Aren’t you two the same? She insists on forcing things, while you insist on believing.”
The veins on the back of Mo Xi’s fair hand had already risen faintly.
But Gu Mang acted as though he had not seen them and merely said, “So you and her actually aren’t that different. Both of you have spent all these years resentful because you feel that what you gave was never repaid.”
“You think that the reason I’ve resented and hated you all these years is merely because I feel that what I gave was never repaid?”
Looking at the light and shadows in Mo Xi’s eyes, Gu Mang almost felt pity.
But after remaining silent for a while, he still said, “Otherwise?”
Mo Xi abruptly closed his eyes. His eyelashes trembled, and the emotions he had suppressed for so long suddenly tore open a gap. He erupted:
“If I truly were merely unwilling to accept this, could you still be standing in front of me now, saying these things to me?! If I were merely unwilling to accept this, there would have been countless ways for me to satisfy my resentment long ago. I could have forcibly taken you, humiliated you, poisoned you, drugged you. I didn’t do those things, but do you really think I don’t know how?! Gu Mang! I regarded you as my companion, my closest friend, my…”
My lover. My god.
What I hate is your betrayal and your change. What you abandoned was not only me, but also your brothers, your dreams, and the brilliance you once possessed.
And also the person you once were.
“Take another road. Even if you have nothing to do with me for the rest of your life, I will not resent you.”
“……”
“Gu Mang. Back then, you nearly dug my heart out of my chest.”
Gu Mang’s fingertips trembled slightly.
Mo Xi’s voice was hoarse. He raised his head and looked at him, his black eyes dark and heavy, as though even the stars had gone out.
“Have you still not understood it?”
“……”
Gu Mang was momentarily speechless. Those black eyes were simply too painful to look at.
Gu Mang still remembered what they had been like the first time he saw them. They had not been like this. The first time he saw Mo Xi, Mo Xi had been standing beneath the osmanthus trees at the academy. He wore a black robe embroidered with golden-edged black serpentine patterns, his golden hair tied into a high ponytail with a hair band, a jade-waisted bow tucked into the crook of his arm as he gazed at the bullseye in the distance.
The wind rose, blowing his wide sleeves upward. Sensing the gaze behind him, Mo Xi brushed aside the loose hair beside his face and casually glanced back at Gu Mang.
Those eyes were like deep currents beneath still water, clear and luminous, like a lake untouched by the mortal world. There was little emotion in them. They merely swept lightly over Gu Mang before moving away.
Later, Gu Mang saw him several more times at the academy. Once, he saw him sitting alone beside the stone steps, reading. Another time, he saw him eating beneath a tree by himself. And another time, he saw him just coming out of the academy’s wooden training-post grounds. As he walked, he bit the end of his hair tie, binding up his ponytail. From beneath the hem of his broad black robe emerged a section of his fair, slender neck, beaded with fine sweat.
He was always alone.
“The young master of the Mo family is really arrogant.”
“Spiritual power is a good thing, but when it’s freakishly strong, that may not necessarily be good. Who knows whether he’s practicing some evil technique no one knows about?”
“Don’t talk nonsense. Young Master Mo relies entirely on hard work. Haven’t you heard the Palace Master praise him every day? I heard that ever since he entered the academy, he practices at the archery grounds until Hai hour every single day. Heh-heh, with him working so hard, I wonder who he’s putting on a show for.”
Gu Mang had actually heard many conversations like this back then. Before Mo Xi even knew who “Gu Mang” was, Gu Mang had already heard the name Mo Xi spoken of like thunder. From the academy’s whispered discussions and from his master Mu Rong Lian’s cold mockery, he had inadvertently learned many fragments about this person.
Among those princes and young masters of noble families, there were too many with twisted temperaments, false reputations, wolfish ambitions, and all sorts of other faults. At the time, Gu Mang had also thought that Mo Xi had probably brought his troubles upon himself and had not held much affection for him.
Until that day.
That day, he happened to pass the training grounds and saw two academy servants kneeling before Mo Xi. The light of the Ruoran Divine Martial Weapon in Mo Xi’s hand crackled and flashed. Gu Mang thought this young nobleman was using his authority to bully the academy slaves and was just about to step out and speak for them when he heard one of the servants repeatedly kowtowing, tears and mucus streaming down his face.
“Young Master Mo! Young Master Mo, we really were wrong! We—we didn’t mean to steal your money. It’s just… it’s just…”
Beside him, a gaunt maid said tremblingly, “It’s just that we were truly starving. A few days ago, we offended Young Master Mu Rong, and the chief steward punished—punished all of us by not giving us enough food… We were starving, and then we saw that you were always, always alone… so we gathered our courage and wanted to… steal… steal your money pouch.”
“Wuwu, I’m sorry… Young Master, please have mercy and spare us. My little sister hasn’t had a proper meal in three days… She’s still so young… I’m truly afraid she won’t survive. If you must punish someone, punish me. I beg you to spare my little sister…”
“Big brother, wuwuwu…”
“……”
Mo Xi stared at the siblings. After remaining silent for a while, the red light of the Ruoran whip in his palm gradually faded.
He said nothing. Lowering his head, he rummaged through his Qiankun pouch and took out his own money pouch. He untied it, silently placed it on the stone steps, and then turned away.
This action left Gu Mang, standing in the distance, completely stunned.
Because of the old history involving Hua Po An, apart from servants belonging to noble-family young masters, academy disciples were forbidden from having any contact with ordinary servants, let alone helping them—that was a grave taboo of the academy.
Yet Mo Xi had done it without hesitation, silently and without asking for anything in return, as though it were the most natural thing in the world.
Watching the profile of this young master as his robe sleeves fluttered in the wind, Gu Mang suddenly felt something subtle and indescribable stir within his heart.
But if things had ended there, Gu Mang’s attention toward Mo Xi might not have become as deep as it later did.
What truly surprised him was that several days later, news suddenly broke out within the academy:
The orphan of Lord Fuling, Mo Xi, had violated the academy’s regulations and was punished with caning.
“Oh-ho, so even the beautiful Mo can stumble into a ditch?”
“After seeing him act so high and mighty for so long, this beating finally puts a damper on his arrogance!”
“I heard he gave his money pouch to a pair of servant siblings, violating the regulations. This person really knows how to pretend. He normally pretends to be hardworking, and now he’s pretending to be kind-hearted too. If you ask me, he’s fake enough to make me sick.”
But hearing everyone’s discussions about him now, Gu Mang felt something entirely different in his heart.
After returning to his residence, he suddenly heard Mu Rong Lian’s unrestrained laughter coming from the other courtyard.
“That Mo fellow really is an idiot. It was nothing more than a little scheme to make him suffer, and he took the bait so easily. Truly surprising! Hahahahaha!”
“Our master is exceptionally clever. How could Mo Xi possibly be your match?”
“Hmph! He violated one of the academy’s greatest taboos. No matter how powerful his techniques are, he can never be recommended as one of the academy’s outstanding talents. Compete with me? He’s still far too green.”
Only then did Gu Mang understand.
It turned out that the so-called “servant siblings incident” had been deliberately arranged by Mu Rong Lian to trap his rival. After receiving Mo Xi’s money pouch and coins, the siblings obediently handed everything over to Mu Rong Lian. Mu Rong Lian then submitted a formal complaint directly to the academy’s disciplinary elder, accusing Mo Xi of openly violating academy regulations by privately giving things to servants.
As the sole heir of the Mo family, Mo Xi was not likely to receive severe punishment. But this was a major taboo of the academy, and the disciplinary elder was also an old family friend of the Wangshu Lord’s family, so he naturally favored Mu Rong Lian. Thus, Mo Xi still received punishment and reprimand for it.
At that time, Gu Mang was one of Mu Rong Lian’s people, and he had no connection with Mo Xi whatsoever. No matter how uneasy he felt, he could not go and say anything to Mo Xi, much less visit him or reveal the truth to the public.
Yet from that moment onward, Mo Xi had already planted a seed deep within Gu Mang’s heart.
The later Ten Thousand Harmonies, the singing pines and rustling waves, the warblers flying and grasses growing—all of it originated from this.
They say everything is destined by fate. Once fate has been written, there is no escaping it.
Several days later, Gu Mang walked along the academy’s shaded path. On the emerald-green lawn, so clear it seemed washed with jade, there was no one else. Only a young man sat alone against a birch tree.
Mo Xi sat quietly beneath the shade, taking tiny bites of a white glutinous-rice zongzi while intently reading the bamboo slips spread across his knees. On his snow-white, translucent cheek was still a whip mark left from his punishment.
But it did not affect him at all.
Mo Xi’s lowered eyelashes remained as thick and dark as ever, and his gaze remained just as clean, without the slightest trace of resentment.
Gu Mang stood behind the tree and gazed from afar at that lonely yet beautiful profile for a while, until Mo Xi finally sensed the excessively focused gaze. He raised his head from the book and turned his eyes toward Gu Mang.
Gu Mang: “……”
Mo Xi: “?”
This was the first time Gu Mang had looked directly into those ink-black eyes. His palms actually began to sweat. Someone who had always been bright and cheerful had somehow become awkward.
He nervously licked his lips, wanting to smile at Mo Xi, but he was somewhat at a loss. Just then, Lu Zhanxing happened to be walking over from far ahead. Seeing him, he waved and called out:
“Mang’er! What are you standing there for?”
Gu Mang hurriedly stammered out a response, hastily turning his gaze away. With the tips of his ears red, he fled toward the distance as though running for his life.
The noble Young Master Mo had not known this nobody at all back then, so naturally, he probably did not remember their first meeting of gazes on the shaded path.
But Gu Mang remembered.
Those eyes like black jade…
The pure land in his memory, untouched by worldly dust, which he had devoted himself to protecting.
Gu Mang sighed and looked at the pair of eyes that were now so close to him in the thatched hut.
There was hatred, resentment, pain, and unwillingness within them. Deep inside, there even flickered a stubborn and violent light.
Yet Gu Mang clearly remembered that when he first met Mo Xi, those eyes had contained nothing but calmness and righteousness.
In the end, they had still become like this.
Gu Mang turned his gaze away.
He was afraid that if he kept looking, there were some things he would never again be able to hide. His broken spiritual core and wounded heart had already begun to ache.
The thatched hut was quiet and desolate, utterly silent all around. Gu Mang did not speak again. He sat down on the haystack. The soft straw sank beneath him, and he lay back in the loose stalks, staring blankly at the roof overhead.
He knew he should draw a clear line between himself and Mo Xi.
Mo Xi was his poison, fatal with a single strike and without an antidote.
He had tried every possible way to build a wall between himself and Mo Xi. But whenever he saw those restless, sorrowful eyes on the other side of the wall, eyes concealing far too many thoughts, his hand laying the bricks would tremble.
He actually wanted very much to leave this cramped little thatched hut. Apart from the smell of straw, the only thing that could be smelled in this room was the faint, familiar fragrance from Mo Xi’s body.
He wore a hard, cold false mask upon his face, but he did not know how long that mask could endure beside Mo Xi.
“……”
Neither of them spoke again. The atmosphere became unbearably stiff.
In the end, Gu Mang could not stand it any longer. He abruptly rose, brushed the bits of straw from his clothes, and went to the doorway to look outside through the gap.
Those bat demons were still searching for suitable partners, creating a chaotic mess. This was not a good time to leave.
Gu Mang could only return to Mo Xi’s side and sit down, resting his chin on his hand as he stared blankly.
He did not intend to hurt Mo Xi’s feelings again. The result of making Mo Xi sad was that he himself did not feel much better either.
The two sat there doing nothing for a while.
Gu Mang glanced at Mo Xi.
Mo Xi’s head was slightly lowered, his eyelashes hanging down.
After a while, Gu Mang secretly glanced at Mo Xi again.
Mo Xi still said nothing and did not acknowledge him. He did not know whether Mo Xi had noticed Gu Mang’s wandering gaze.
In fact, ever since his emotional outburst just now, he had fallen into this silence in which he did not wish to say anything more.
Gu Mang knew that he had truly hurt him.
Actually, Gu Mang understood everything. How could Mo Xi possibly be the same as Wu Yan?
After all, they had once truly tangled together with such burning passion, even until death. He had willingly gone to bed with Mo Xi, yet now he had turned around and accused Mo Xi of making unreasonable demands.
He had clearly seen Mo Xi protecting him, Mo Xi’s despair, and the intention behind Mo Xi wagering his life just to make him turn back…
But given their circumstances now, what other path could he take besides making Mo Xi hate him and stay away from him?
Mo Xi’s heart was soft, and he was upright. Though he appeared cold-blooded and heartless, Gu Mang knew that he was actually kinder than anyone.
And this kindness was like the helping hand he had once extended to the academy servants. In the end, it was often easy for others to turn it into a weapon with which to scheme against him.
Therefore, since Gu Mang had already chosen this path, all he needed was for Mo Xi to hate him purely.
He did not need “pity,” “injustice,” or “unwillingness.”
Even less did he need so much as a trace of love.
Yet when he sat so close to him, smelling that familiar scent on his body, Gu Mang’s heart would still refuse to calm, just as it had in the past.
No matter how clearly he understood what he should do, he still could not help retaining that tiny, pitiful fantasy.
A fantasy that perhaps everything could change.
That he could still rush toward him like a moth flying into the flames, just as he had before.
That he could still hold him and entwine himself with him…
That, if he could once again lose himself in passion, he could say without any reservations, “I love you.”
How wonderful that would be.
After remaining silent for quite some time, Gu Mang finally spoke to break the stifling quiet, deliberately trying to change the subject.
“Ahem… I suddenly remembered. Where’s Yue Chenqing’s life crystal?”
Mo Xi still did not look at him.
“In my Qiankun pouch.”
“Take it out and let me see.”
The stone decorated with agate prayer beads was taken out. Its luster was abundant and seemed to be growing increasingly radiant.
Gu Mang held it in his hand and examined it for a while before returning it to Mo Xi.
“Looks like everything is still going smoothly on Brother Jiang’s side. We don’t need to rush out for the time being. Let’s wait until those bat demons have mostly entered the thatched huts before we leave.”
“…Mm.”
The two, each harboring their own thoughts, sat in the pile of straw, lost in thought as they waited for the bats outside who were searching for partners to disperse.
For a while, there was silence.
Suddenly, a pair of bat demons tangled together and stumbled past their doorway, breaking the silence.
Through the bamboo curtain hanging over the entrance, their figures could be seen kissing passionately, and the two demons’ giggles could also be heard.
“Don’t rush.”
“We’re accumulating primordial spirit for the King, so how can we not hurry?”
The female bat demon giggled, occasionally accompanied by the indistinct sounds of kissing.
“Mmm… You always use the King as an excuse. You make it sound so righteous. Could it be that you don’t want to…”
The rest of her voice was drowned out by the wet, smacking sounds of their kisses.
“……”
Gu Mang could not help glancing at Mo Xi.
Mo Xi noticed his gaze and turned his face away.
Just when Gu Mang thought Mo Xi intended to pretend he had not heard anything, he suddenly heard him ask:
“What do you mean, accumulating primordial spirit for the King?”
“Oh.” Gu Mang said, “Wu Yan seems to be able to absorb the spiritual energy produced when the bat demons below mate. That’s probably a characteristic of the Fire Bat clan.”
Mo Xi said nothing, but from the small portion of his profile visible from the side, it was obvious that he seemed to be saying, This is simply absurd.
“Fire Bats are naturally lustful. There’s nothing strange about it,” Gu Mang said. “Once they’ve all entered their nests, we’ll leave.”
The pair of bat demons lingering outside their door kissed as though they were ravenous. Even their silhouettes conveyed how heated the atmosphere between them had been.
Just as they were about to push the door open, the male bat suddenly stopped.
“Ah, this one’s already occupied.”
The female bat demon’s voice was soft enough to seem as though water could be squeezed from it.
“The one next door is still empty. Let’s go next door.”
The pair went next door.
Mo Xi had just secretly breathed a sigh of relief when he suddenly heard a muffled “thump” come from the wall only a short distance away.
Immediately afterward, the voices of the pair became even clearer as they came through the wall into their thatched hut.
“Baby, let me kiss you one more time…”
“Don’t be so impatient…”
“……”
At this point, Gu Mang secretly glanced at Mo Xi again—
and discovered that Mo Xi’s face had already gone completely dark.