That night, it was Meng Ze who sent Mo Xi back to his residence.
Originally, this was unbecoming of a princess of a nation, but Meng Ze, like her elder brother who was the ruler, was someone who did not care about worldly opinions. Gu Mang lifted the carriage curtain for her and wanted to help her support Mo Xi into the carriage, but Meng Ze glanced at him and said, “I’m enough.”
Gu Mang hesitated and said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to before. I wanted to block the wine for him.”
Meng Ze was not vicious toward him, but neither was she kind. She looked down at him coolly without saying anything.
It was Yue Niang who gave a cold laugh beside them and said spitefully, “Block the wine? Do you have the right? Are you worthy?”
Gu Mang paused before saying, “I just found out about some things… I wanted to make up for them.”
“Make up for them?” Yue Niang said sharply. “You made so many mistakes and hurt others so many times, and now you know you need to make amends. But what use is this pig’s heart of yours to us?! What can you make up for?!”
“…”
Yue Niang refused to let up. “You’re nothing but a jinx and a lying ghost! You—”
“Enough.” Meng Ze raised her hand and stopped her, then turned to look at Gu Mang.
Under the bright moonlight, Meng Ze’s expression was distant and cold. She did not insult him, but her gaze was chilly.
“Marshal Gu, I know you meant well today, but please don’t cause Big Brother Mo any more trouble. You have already harmed him too deeply,” Meng Ze said. “Let him go.”
She did not call him a bringer of disaster. Such words could not come from Meng Ze’s mouth, but Gu Mang already understood what she meant. He looked at the wound on Mo Xi’s shoulder, remained silent for a while, and said nothing more. He turned and walked to the back of the carriage. Meng Ze then entered the carriage with Mo Xi, while he silently followed behind.
When they returned to the residence, Li Wei, who had already heard what happened, led a group of servants and waited at the entrance. The moment he saw Meng Ze, he hurriedly knelt and bowed.
“Your subordinate Li Wei pays his respects to Princess Meng Ze! May Your Highness live a thousand years and be blessed with peace and good fortune!”
Although Meng Ze was not the mistress of Xihe Manor, almost everyone treated her as though she held that position. They respectfully and enthusiastically ushered her inside.
The chairs and furnishings in Xihe Manor all came in pairs. Li Wei fawned over them, helping settle Mo Xi in the bedroom before coming out and ingratiating himself with Meng Ze.
“Princess, our Lord has always been thinking of you. He insists on keeping a place specially for you in everything. He only waits for you to come so it will be convenient.”
Meng Ze sighed. “He’s just lazy and likes things in pairs. What do you mean he kept it for me?”
“How could that be? Our Lord’s feelings for the Princess are something us servants have all seen with our own eyes.” As Li Wei spoke, he pulled out one of the huanghuali chairs in the main hall. “Princess, please sit for a while and have some tea before you leave.”
Meng Ze did not refuse. Yue Niang smiled and said, “In that case, we’ll trouble Steward Li.”
“No trouble, no trouble!” Li Wei hurriedly ordered the servants to bring eight kinds of pastries, eight kinds of candied fruits, and a pot of the finest Biluochun tea for Meng Ze. He grinned ingratiatingly and said, “Princess, look. This tea set only has a pair of cups. Our Lord normally loves using this set. In the future, you should come more often to accompany him for tea and play chess.”
Meng Ze glanced at the tea set. It was indeed a double-cup tea set produced by the Chonghua Imperial Kiln, with only one pot and two cups. Such sets were generally used to entertain close friends or between husband and wife. The Imperial Kiln fired this kind of tea set partly to seek an auspicious meaning. Its implication was: “You and I are deeply devoted, with no one else between us.”
Meng Ze turned her face away and gave a light cough. “Steward Li, don’t talk nonsense. I have never liked Songzhu Mei porcelain. If you continue to make random guesses about your Lord’s intentions, be careful. Once he wakes up, I’ll tell him everything and see if he doesn’t punish you.”
Li Wei said, “Oh my, then I won’t dare, I won’t dare.”
Though he said that, the smile in his eyes did not diminish in the slightest. A maiden’s feelings were not difficult to guess. Meng Ze blamed him with her mouth, but in her heart she loved hearing that Mo Xi thought of her, treated her well, and treated her differently from everyone else.
Just as he was serving the Princess tea and pastries and chatting with her about this and that, the corner of his eye caught sight of someone standing silently in a dark little corner, watching them.
Li Wei’s heart gave a thump.
Normally, the place where Meng Ze was sitting was where Gu Mang sat, and the tea set Meng Ze was using was also the one Gu Mang used… But… but all of this was because Gu Mang did not understand etiquette, while the Lord was too lazy to discipline him, so he allowed Gu Mang to act so freely. What if Gu Mang thought Meng Ze had taken his territory and came over to pick a fight with the Princess?
Li Wei was nervously drumming his fingers, just about to find an excuse to send Gu Mang away, when he saw Gu Mang stare at Meng Ze for a while.
That gaze was not hateful. It was dim.
It was like a wolf cub with its fur puffed up, finally recognizing its place and fate within the pack. After standing there for a while, it turned around and left.
There were many things that did not matter when one did not understand them. Once one understood, looking back, one could finally comprehend why others had reacted the way they did at the time. Now Gu Mang finally understood why, when he had first wanted to sit in this place, Mo Xi had been so unhappy and told him, “This seat isn’t reserved for you.”
Wolves had their own places within the pack, and people were the same.
He had thought the place beside Mo Xi was empty, so he had shamelessly occupied it without restraint. It turned out it was not empty. Someone had long since occupied that place. She simply had not returned, and he had always kept it for her.
He had shamelessly taken Meng Ze’s place.
His cheeks felt burning hot.
“Gu Mang seems to have become much more obedient lately.” A few days after New Year’s Eve, Li Wei stood beneath the corridor, stroking his chin as he watched that diligent figure working. “He doesn’t cause trouble, doesn’t talk back, and doesn’t randomly sit wherever he wants anymore…” He clicked his tongue twice before finally reaching a conclusion with a beaming smile. “Doctor Jiang’s medicine really works.”
Mo Xi had asked him several times what Jiang Ye Xue had told him, or whether he had remembered anything afterward, but Gu Mang was not very willing to say.
Until one day after spring began, Mo Xi changed into a plain white robe and said he was going to Zhanhun Mountain to offer incense to his father. When Gu Mang heard this, a trace of gloom flashed through his eyes.
Mo Xi frowned. “What’s wrong?”
Gu Mang had worked very hard these past few months. By now, his speech had become much more coherent. Aside from certain words and phrases, or when his emotions became especially agitated, there was not much difference between him and an ordinary person.
Gu Mang said, “I want to go with you. Is that okay?”
“What are you going there for?”
Gu Mang lowered his eyes and said softly, “I want to pay my respects too.”
Mo Xi’s slender fingers, which had been straightening the collar of his robe, stopped. He raised his eyes and stared at him, seemingly thinking about something. After a while, he said, “…Change into white clothes. I’ll wait for you in the front hall.”
On Zhanhun Mountain in spring, the vegetation was lush and the flowers fragrant. The bitter cold of deep winter had already passed. The streams, freed from their ice, flowed gently. The warm April sunlight shone upon the surface of the river, shimmering with crystalline light. From time to time, animals awakened after Jingzhe could be seen darting through the grass and vegetation.
The two walked one in front of the other, silently making their way up the mountain.
To show sincerity when paying respects, one did not use a sword to fly or employ lightness skills. They simply walked step by step, solidly and honestly, from the foot of the mountain all the way upward. After spending more than half an hour, they finally reached the summit of Zhanhun Mountain.
Two guards stood outside the Martyrs’ Mausoleum. Upon seeing Mo Xi, they lowered their heads and bowed. Their red tassels swayed softly from their helmets.
“Greetings, Lord Xihe!”
Mo Xi nodded to them and led Gu Mang into the cemetery. Pine and cypress trees surrounded the courtyard, making it exceptionally quiet. It seemed that everyone feared disturbing the heroic spirits in their eternal rest; even the chirping of birds sounded infinitely ethereal.
The two climbed the white jade steps one after another. Gu Mang looked around, seeing nothing but jade memorial tablets engraved with golden characters.
Jun Suhuai Zhou Jingyue, heroic spirit eternally at rest.
Jun Hanshan Yue Fengya, heroic spirit eternally at rest.
…
The farther upward they went, the more magnificent the tombstones became, and the more extensive the deeds and praises engraved upon them were.
Gu Mang’s footsteps involuntarily stopped when he passed a huge jade stele.
Fresh steamed buns and fruits had been placed before the stele. The ashes and paper money had only recently burned; they had not yet been scattered by the wind in the basin for the deceased. Three sticks of pure incense in the offering burner were quietly burning.
He could not help raising his eyes to look at the characters on the stele.
The large characters in that line were full and graceful in form, imposing and dignified, carved with vigorous force:
“Seventh-generation Jun Wangshu Murong Xuan, heroic spirit eternally at rest.”
When the sunlight shone upon them, they gleamed with brilliant golden luster.
Noticing his movement, Mo Xi looked back and said, “That is Murong Lian’s father’s tomb.”
After saying this, his gaze swept toward the offerings and incense burner, and he sighed.
“Looks like Murong Lian left not long ago.”
That was probably for the best. If Murong Lian had encountered Gu Mang here, there inevitably would have been another battle of sharp words. With so many martyrs watching, it would ultimately have been inappropriate.
Gu Mang looked at Murong Xuan’s tombstone for a while longer before turning to ask Mo Xi, “Where is your father’s tomb?”
“At the very top of the mountain. Let’s go.”
The two reached the summit.
Looking up, floating clouds wound around them, while heaven and earth stretched vast and boundless. The royal city of Chonghua faintly appeared amid the sea of clouds, distant like a dream from another lifetime.
Looking back, the mountain path they had come by stretched like a long river, connecting the mortal world at the foot of the mountain with the city of the dead atop it.
At the peak of Zhanhun Mountain, death seemed far more real than life.
Mo Xi walked to a heroic spirit stele nearly three people tall and placed the sacrificial basket he was carrying beside it.
“Father, I’ve come to see you.”
The mountain wind blew against his white robes. The summit seemed so close to the Nine Heavens. The rising sun poured straight down from above, and the golden characters on the jade stele shimmered with light.
Mo Xi’s long eyelashes trembled softly as he faced the dazzling radiance and looked over those characters inch by inch.
Jun Fuling Mo Qingchi, heroic spirit eternally at rest.
Mo Xi knelt down.
The incense was lit. He carefully arranged the sacrificial food one item at a time. Gold-foil spirit money was burned, and blue-gray smoke carried the clean fragrance of broken pine and cypress branches.
Gu Mang also knelt down beside him. He hesitantly reached out his hand and looked at Mo Xi questioningly. Seeing that Mo Xi paused but did not stop him, he took some paper money as well and followed him in putting it into the brazier.
The flames suddenly surged upward. A wave of heat rushed up, making Gu Mang squint and cough softly.
Mo Xi used the fire tongs to stir the spirit paper, allowing all of it to catch fire, each sheet curling into ash.
An indescribable feeling rose within his heart.
Many years ago, he had hoped that he could bring Gu Mang to his father’s tomb to pay respects together.
He had wanted the only elder he respected to meet the only person to whom he had ever given his true heart.
But back then, Gu Mang had refused.
Gu Mang had always smiled and brushed him off.
“Forget it. You know, with the relationship between the two of us, if we go pay respects to Uncle Mo, he’ll definitely be unhappy. He’ll be cursing you for fooling around from up in heaven.”
Or he would casually say, “Be good, Junior Brother. Your Senior Brother can accompany you for other things, but this really won’t do. It’s too serious. Your future wife will get jealous. How could I bear to make a girl sad?”
He knew that a girl’s heart could not be hurt.
And so he had gone all out trampling on Mo Xi’s sincerity.
Now Gu Mang had obediently followed him here. Without anyone teaching him, he honestly followed him in burning the paper offerings.
It was almost as though the long-held wish of those years had finally come true.
Yet Mo Xi felt not the slightest bit of happiness.
The paper ingots finished burning. Mo Xi sighed and said, “Let’s go.”
Gu Mang did not move. He looked at him from the side and suddenly said, “…I’m sorry.”
Mo Xi’s movement as he rose stopped. His gaze remained on the stele.
After a long while, he said, “On New Year’s Eve, what Jiang Ye Xue told you… was it about my father?”
“You guessed it?”
“After watching how you’ve behaved these past few months, I more or less had some idea.”
Gu Mang repeated, “I’m really sorry.”
Mo Xi looked at him.
All right. Truly, everyone should be happy.
Once, he had wanted to pay respects to his father with this person, and he had come.
Once, he had wanted to hear this apology, and now he had given it.
But things should not have been like this.
The person who should have come to pay respects was supposed to be his lover, not a traitorous prisoner-slave.
The apology should have come from someone who understood the cause and consequences, not someone so ignorant and bewildered.
“I really… really can’t remember why I betrayed you back then,” Gu Mang said earnestly. “But I won’t do it again in the future.”
Mo Xi’s Adam’s apple moved. He closed his eyes briefly.
“Gu Mang, what do you think there is between you and me in the future?”
Gu Mang did not know what to say. He could only say, “Don’t be sad…”
“Why do you think I’m sad?” Mo Xi said. “The days when I would feel sad because of you have long since passed and will never return. As for your betrayal… it was because you had your own ambitions and your own desire for revenge.”
“You were a genius of war, a madman who made the enemy tremble at the mere mention of your name. Your lifelong dream was to lead your army to accomplish great deeds and gallop across the battlefield. Whenever you heard the words ‘go to war,’ your eyes would light up. You didn’t like bloodshed, but war excited you. Because it was the only way out you had to reverse your fate.”
Mo Xi paused and turned to look at him.
“But it wasn’t like that for me.”
“…”
“I hate the battlefield. Because it constantly takes important things away from me, giving me only fame and achievements that I don’t care about in return. Gu Mang, you and I were once comrades-in-arms, but perhaps we were never people walking the same path.”
He turned his gaze toward the swirling clouds and mist.
“So perhaps it was destined from the beginning that we would ultimately take different paths.”