With a sharp slap, Mo Xi put all his strength into it. Lu Zhanxing’s cheek immediately swelled, and blood seeped from the corner of his lips.
Mo Xi glared fiercely at him, his eyes red-rimmed.
His voice trembled terribly.
“What gives you the right to make decisions for him? What gives you the right to choose for him? Do you know that when you die, the deaths of his seventy thousand comrades, who have no place to rest, will drive him to what kind of state? Are you trying to push him into the abyss, Lu Zhanxing?!”
By the end, sparks seemed to explode from his eyes, and he was practically roaring.
“You don’t want him to die, but have you ever truly understood his heart?!!”
Lu Zhanxing’s voice rose as well, his bloodstained lips opening and closing.
“His ambitions are too high. Sooner or later, they’ll get him killed! What the hell do you understand?!”
Their words clashed like two weapons ringing against each other, like dragons and tigers locked in combat.
“You were born into fine clothes and fine food! The so-called setbacks you’ve experienced were nothing more than some damn family troubles! Have you ever experienced that helpless feeling where someone can take your life simply because they’re displeased with you? Do you know how difficult it was for Gu Mang to survive from childhood until today?”
Because of his anger, because of his despair, Lu Zhanxing was almost choking back sobs.
“He’s just a stupid donkey who’s lost his way! You people loosened the slave collar around his neck and replaced it with fame, rank, and wealth, dangling them before him like carrots and cabbages. But did anything really change?”
“He’s still using his blood and tears to pull your mill, yet he’s happy as a fool…”
At this point, Lu Zhanxing could not help raising his head and covering his eyes with his arm. His voice was hoarse.
“But a donkey is still a donkey. The day he becomes lazy, the day he becomes tired, the day he can no longer walk, he’ll still only be allowed to be slaughtered, leaving nothing of his corpse or bones behind!”
Lu Zhanxing took a deep breath.
“If he cannot see it clearly, I’ll make him see it in advance.”
“If he understands but refuses to let go, I’ll force him to release all ten of his fingers!”
“Since he believes the former ruler showed him kindness, then I waited. I waited until the new ruler ascended the throne before making this move, so that his gratitude toward the former ruler would not turn into hatred. What else could I possibly have failed to consider for him?”
“…Lu Zhanxing…”
The emotion suppressed in Mo Xi’s throat churned like molten lava.
“You’re simply insane…”
“The one who’s insane isn’t me. It’s him.”
Lu Zhanxing lowered his hand. His eyes were still reddened from his agitation, but all the softness in them had been stripped away, leaving only ruthless determination. He stared at Mo Xi.
“How insane would Mang’er have to be to believe that he alone could change the way all of Chonghua, even all of the Nine Provinces, view slaves? How arrogant and crazy would he have to be to believe that all of this actually had hope?!”
Mo Xi said hoarsely, “You would rather take away the light of his life than let him live the way you want him to?”
“What’s so wrong with trailing your tail in the mud and living out your days?” Lu Zhanxing said. “A person is nothing more than a speck in the vast ocean, yet he insists on believing he is a mayfly capable of shaking Heaven. Look. By now, he should understand the ending himself—the moment the new ruler moves his lips, his mirage will be destroyed and collapse. With the price of seventy thousand lives, from this day forward, Gu Mang or those poor, foolish cultivators of slave status alike will no longer need to throw their heads away and spill their blood for Chonghua!”
As Lu Zhanxing spoke, the smile at the corners of his lips became almost twisted.
“Let whoever owns the realm defend it himself. Noble young master Lord Xi and He, please, I beg you, don’t interfere anymore. Let this ridiculous army fall apart completely. We only want to live a miserable life rather than die a good death.”
We?
We?
Ever since their days at the academy, Gu Mang had spoken with longing on his face about how he hoped that one day he could turn Heaven and Earth upside down, hoping to change this world, even if only by the tiniest bit.
As long as he could kindle even a single ray of light, he was willing to burn his own flesh, hair, limbs, and bones to nothing.
Yet Lu Zhanxing said that we only wanted to live a miserable life rather than die.
Why?
Mo Xi seemed to become furious for an instant. But his conflict with Lu Zhanxing had already become so sharp that if he lost control now, blood would likely spill. He did not want to disrupt what was happening inside the Time Mirror, so he forcefully closed his eyes.
After a long while, the excessively violent flames of rage finally died down. Mo Xi slowly opened his eyes again, his dark gaze returning to Lu Zhanxing.
Just as he was about to speak calmly, Lu Zhanxing stabbed him with another remark.
“Lord Xi and He, stay away from him. From now on, I can no longer accompany him. I beg you, Your Highness, please show some mercy. Don’t give him any more hopes that will cost him his life.”
Mo Xi realized that he could no longer look at Lu Zhanxing’s face. One glance was enough to make the fire he had just suppressed flare up again. He abruptly turned his face away and stared at the swaying candlelight beside him.
Lu Zhanxing said, “Don’t lead him down this path anymore.”
“…”
Mo Xi’s fingers clenched into a fist. His gaze drifted away from the dim candlelight and finally landed on the two dice Lu Zhanxing had been playing with.
He had not paid much attention to them. He was simply too pained and furious, and his eyes needed somewhere to rest, somewhere to anchor themselves.
He stared at the two white-and-red dice for a long while.
But after some time, he suddenly felt that something was wrong. A prickling sensation rose first, followed by the realization of what was wrong.
His back stiffened abruptly.
These dice…
They had white bases and red lacquer, carved from rosewood. Beside the sixth pip was an extremely inconspicuous little lotus pattern.
They were…
Gu Mang’s wooden dice?!
Yes.
Gu Mang had loved playing leaf cards and gambling with dice when he was in the army. At the time, he envied the Mo, Yue, and Murong families for having their own totems, so he had whimsically created one for himself as well.
The totem he designed for himself was a Buddhist lotus. Carving it somewhere else would have been too conspicuous and might have made people laugh at him, so he only had it carved onto the dice he played with when fooling around with his brothers.
Lu Zhanxing had even laughed at him back then, saying, “You’re a grown man. What are you doing using a little red lotus as your emblem?”
Gu Mang had smiled and explained, “A lotus blooms for seven days. It may not be a long time, but its fragrance permeates Heaven and Earth. What’s wrong with that?”
Later, Gu Mang and Mo Xi secretly formed a blood pact. Each had a lotus pattern at his neck, using the same totem Gu Mang had designed long ago.
After realizing this, Lu Zhanxing’s voice seemed to come from across a vast ocean. Mo Xi no longer had the attention to listen to what he was saying. His fingers trembled slightly, almost reaching for the wooden die on the table to examine it closely.
“Lord Xi and He.”
“…”
“Let Mang’er go.”
Lu Zhanxing said, “If you truly care about him, if you regard him as a person, then don’t keep dangling him along and making him sell his life for you people, fighting and killing. Let him go.”
Mo Xi’s throat moved. In the end, he forcibly suppressed the impulse. After a moment of silence, Mo Xi’s face slightly pale, he moved his gaze away from the dice and looked at Lu Zhanxing.
“…You have planned all this for him. Are you really certain that he will follow the path you laid out for him and spend the rest of his life wandering freely like an idle cloud and wild crane?”
“Then what other path does he have?”
Mo Xi’s dark brown eyes fixed on Lu Zhanxing’s face.
“Have you ever considered that he might rebel?”
Lu Zhanxing was genuinely stunned for a moment. Then, almost as though he found it amusing, he said, “What nonsense are you talking about? Mang’er would rebel? Don’t you know what kind of person he is?”
“Then don’t you know how much you mean to him? How much those hundred thousand cultivators mean to him?”
“…”
Lu Zhanxing’s face turned pale. He fell silent for a moment, then looked up coldly with an expression of utter disbelief.
“He absolutely would not.”
Mo Xi carefully measured every emotion between his brows, taking in every reaction Lu Zhanxing displayed.
Lu Zhanxing said, “I know him. No matter which step he takes, he could never take this one… He… He…”
Mo Xi said, “Is that so? Have you never heard that anything has been strange about him during these six months you’ve been imprisoned?”
Lu Zhanxing took a step backward, a strange hint of panic showing in his eyes.
As expected…
From that panic, Mo Xi could tell that Lu Zhanxing seemed to know something he himself did not.
Lu Zhanxing was definitely hiding some secret.
Amid this silence stretched to its absolute limit, Mo Xi suddenly asked without preamble, “Lu Zhanxing, after you were imprisoned, did you see Gu Mang?”
Lu Zhanxing reacted as though he had been struck by a cold arrow. He abruptly raised his head.
Then the color drained from his face, and he immediately turned it away.
After a long while, he said, “…What are you thinking, Lord Xi and He? Mang’er is currently a man bearing guilt. How could he possibly come to see me? I’d certainly love to reminisce with him again. But… hehe.”
He gave a self-mocking laugh.
“In a dream, perhaps. Having a dream would probably feel more real.”
“…”
Mo Xi said nothing further. But he had seen every one of Lu Zhanxing’s successive reactions after that question, and the color in his eyes grew darker.
He could almost confirm that Gu Mang had definitely seen Lu Zhanxing sometime during these six months.
But if that was the case, the matter became even stranger. As a disgraced and stripped-of-power minister, Gu Mang was watched day and night by His Majesty’s secret guards. How could he possibly have found an opportunity to break through the heavily guarded Heavenly Prison and reach Lu Zhanxing’s cell?
“I’ll ask you one last time,” Mo Xi said. “Lu Zhanxing, Gu Mang really never came here to see you?”
“…No.”
“And you truly have not suffered the slightest injustice?”
Lu Zhanxing said, “No.”
Knowing that no matter how he asked, he would not get any meaningful answer, the two ultimately parted on bad terms. Neither managed to convince the other, and neither yielded.
Mo Xi walked out of the cold, gloomy prison cell.
Behind him came the clattering sound of the iron-chain door and lock. The spirit-infused shackles were once again fastened heavily around Lu Zhanxing’s prison.
Before leaving, Mo Xi turned his face and gave Lu Zhanxing one final look.
Lu Zhanxing sat beneath the dim halo of a single oil lamp, his head lowered and his eyes closed.
Just as Mo Xi turned away completely, Lu Zhanxing suddenly raised his head again.
“Wait!”
Mo Xi pursed his thin lips and looked sideways at Lu Zhanxing.
“What is it?”
Lu Zhanxing gritted his teeth.
“There’s one more thing.”
“…”
“Since you came, I want to ask you something too.”
“Go ahead.”
Lu Zhanxing hesitated. This question had been weighing on his heart for so long that it had almost rotted inside him. He knew that if he did not ask now, he would never have another opportunity.
So he gritted his teeth and finally said, “All these years, I’ve always wanted to know. You… exactly with…”
Seeing his expression and hearing his words, Mo Xi had already guessed what he was getting at. He simply stood there and quietly waited for him to continue.
“You and him… You and Mang’er… Are you two actually…”
The thing he wanted to say was too difficult to put into words, and it concerned his childhood companion. Even someone as shameless as Lu Zhanxing could not help stammering.
“Are you two…”
Mo Xi said, “Yes.”
It was as though Lu Zhanxing had been struck by Mo Xi’s blunt admission. None of his previous words had left him as dizzy as that single “yes” spoken directly by Mo Xi himself.
After serving in the military for so many years, Lu Zhanxing had actually noticed the signs in the details long ago. It was just that, out of respect for Gu Mang, he had been too embarrassed to ask directly.
But not asking did not mean he was blind or stupid.
He had noticed Mo Xi and Gu Mang’s gazes when they looked at each other far too many times. Once or twice, he had thought he was imagining something absurd. But after it happened again and again, he could no longer convince himself that there was nothing between them.
Not to mention the countless times he had seen Mo Xi wait for Gu Mang so that they could change shifts and patrol together. Whenever the two returned, the corners of Gu Mang’s eyes would always be slightly red, and his voice would carry a faint hoarseness.
Once, he had even seen a small red bite mark on Gu Mang’s neck by the light of the campfire.
But a suspicion was still only a suspicion. When Mo Xi actually stood before him and personally admitted it, Lu Zhanxing still felt as though he could hardly breathe.
He suddenly staggered backward several steps and sat down on the stone bed. He looked almost despondent.
“…Mang’er is a fucking lunatic… He was perfectly fine on his own. Why did he have to get involved with you…”
Lu Zhanxing bent forward and buried his face in his palms, rubbing it hard. His voice was hoarse.
“Doesn’t he know what his background is…? Why… why did he have to reach for the one thing that was most impossible to obtain… Crazy… He really is crazy…”
After a pause, Lu Zhanxing said, utterly exhausted, “Is flying into a flame like a moth really that interesting? Everything he has ever sought in this life, whether it’s things or people, is just so… so…”
His Adam’s apple bobbed, and two words finally fell from his lips.
“Absurd.”
Amid the shifting shadows, Mo Xi looked down at him. After a while, Mo Xi said, “Don’t blame him. What happened between him and me wasn’t him trying to obtain me. I was the moth flying into the flame. I was the one who pursued him.”
With that, he turned and swept his black robes across the green stone steps, disappearing into the depths of the long passageway.
That night, after returning to Xi and He Manor, Mo Xi tossed and turned, unable to fall asleep.
Finally, he abruptly sat up in bed, threw on his clothes, and pushed open the door. The starlit sky seemed to be washed with water, sparkling like scattered diamonds across the entire deep-blue firmament.
He took a cloak and draped it over himself, then went straight to Xinghua Tower once more.
Although he could not appear before Gu Mang again at this time because he needed to uncover more of the truths buried in the past, he still could not help hoping to see Gu Mang from eight years ago a few more times.