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Chapter 50

This entry is part 50 of 56 in the series Hard to Say What I Want

He Wei brought a bottle of red wine from home and insisted that Xu Ze try it.

Considering that Xu Ze still had to work tomorrow, Lu Heyang told him not to drink.

But Xu Ze said it was fine.

Because he said it was fine, He Wei dragged him from complaining that summer camp got more boring every year to talking about how the little mole on the tip of Chi Jiahan’s nose was really adorable, while also trying to pry some secrets about Chi Jiahan out of Xu Ze.

On the way back, Gu Yunchi drove, while Lu Heyang and Xu Ze sat in the back.

He Wei continued talking nonstop throughout the ride, spewing all kinds of pointless nonsense.

Gu Yunchi found him annoying, so he turned on the music and raised the volume.

Xu Ze and Lu Heyang were not sitting particularly close together, but their hands rested beside their legs, only a few centimeters apart.

In the dimness and slight bumps of the car, accompanied by the music, Xu Ze’s courage was emboldened by the alcohol.

Very slowly, he moved his hand over and touched Lu Heyang’s fingertips.

Lu Heyang seemed not to react at all.

Xu Ze himself flinched and pulled back.

Then, as if he had gathered his courage again, he moved closer once more, slowly tracing from Lu Heyang’s fingers to the back of his hand, and finally gently covering it with his own.

He was very nervous.

Every so often, he glanced at the rearview mirror, afraid Gu Yunchi would notice.

But the only thing visible in the mirror was Gu Yunchi’s extremely impatient expression as he endured his friend’s excessive noise.

Suddenly, his palm was empty.

Lu Heyang had pulled his hand away.

Xu Ze froze for a moment, slowly realizing how embarrassing it was, and withdrew his own hand.

But Lu Heyang caught his wrist and rubbed it gently.

Then his fingertip slowly slid into Xu Ze’s palm, and he interlocked their fingers.

When they arrived downstairs, their hands separated.

Xu Ze pushed open the car door and got out. Lu Heyang also got out and said, “He’s drunk. I’ll take him upstairs.”

Gu Yunchi simply turned off the engine, completely abandoning He Wei, and got out himself to smoke.

The stairwell was still just as dark.

Lu Heyang held Xu Ze’s arm and helped him upstairs.

When they reached the second floor, Xu Ze suddenly asked, “What kind of omega… do you like?”

From He Wei’s remarks several times, Xu Ze had gathered that Lu Heyang had apparently never liked anyone before.

So he really wanted to know.

There was no other purpose behind it. He simply wanted to know what kind of person could make Lu Heyang fall for them.

“Clever, and thick-skinned,” Lu Heyang answered. “Someone who’ll ask me for this and that, and accept it without the slightest hesitation when I give him a lot of money.”

Xu Ze thought about it and said, “You’re lying.”

He might have been a little slow around Lu Heyang, believing everything Lu Heyang told him without question, but he had not truly lost his ability to judge. He could still tell the difference between the truth and an evasive answer.

“I was lying to you.”

Lu Heyang admitted it openly, a hint of laughter in his voice.

When they reached the door, Xu Ze took out his key and unlocked it.

Lu Heyang did not follow him inside.

He said to Xu Ze, “Goodbye,” and then closed the door.

Xu Ze simply stood inside the apartment, tilting his head slightly as he stared at him through the crack in the door with a pair of wide eyes.

He looked like a pet quietly watching its owner leave. You didn’t know how long it would continue waiting behind the door after it closed.

The door was about to shut completely.

But suddenly, it was pushed open again.

Xu Ze was rarely startled, but this time he was caught off guard. His eyes widened slightly as the door opened.

Here’s the English translation:

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

Lu Heyang walked inside, closed the door behind him, and said, “How am I supposed to leave when you’re looking at me like that?”

“……”

Xu Ze seriously thought about it for a few seconds, then raised his hand to cover his eyes.

“I can’t see anymore.”

Some people became especially annoying after getting drunk, like He Wei.

Others became more interesting after drinking too much, like Xu Ze.

“Okay, then I’m leaving,” Lu Heyang said.

Xu Ze heard the sound of the door opening and then closing.

He quietly endured it for a while before lowering his hand with a little disappointment.

The light was soft and warm.

Lu Heyang was still standing in front of him, smiling at him.

Unable to imagine that Lu Heyang would play such a childish game, Xu Ze uncertainly reached out to touch his face.

It was real.

The successive ups and downs made Xu Ze’s heart race and his head grow dizzy and heavy. In the end, as though bewitched, he leaned in and kissed him.

He had become accustomed to being guided by Lu Heyang, and his kissing skills had not improved at all. He could only kiss and touch tentatively.

In the end, it was still Lu Heyang who patted his face and reminded him to open his mouth.

After kissing for several minutes, Xu Ze’s arms unconsciously wound around Lu Heyang’s waist.

Lu Heyang squeezed the back of Xu Ze’s neck and pulled slightly away from him. With a smile on his lips, he said, “I like someone who takes the initiative.”

This answer sounded much more reliable.

Xu Ze looked at Lu Heyang, his eyelids drooping again and again as though he were about to fall asleep. He rested his forehead against Lu Heyang’s shoulder.

“A few days ago, I went to the boxing gym to get something. I saw He Yu there.”

“You mean He Wei’s cousin?”

“Mm. He seems to be very familiar with the people at the club.”

“Okay, I’ll tell He Wei.”

Lu Heyang smiled again and asked him, “Why didn’t you just tell He Wei directly? Why tell me first?”

Xu Ze thought carefully for a moment.

“I’m a little more familiar with you.”

“Only a little more familiar?”

Xu Ze straightened up and began rubbing his eyes repeatedly. His head was getting heavier and heavier.

He didn’t know what he should answer. He was afraid of giving the wrong answer.

“I’m leaving. They’re still waiting for me downstairs.”

Lu Heyang pressed down Xu Ze’s hand, which was rubbing his eyes without any restraint.

“There’s still half a month before school starts. Don’t work too hard.”

“Mm.”

Xu Ze nodded.

Lu Heyang said, “I’ll wait here until I see you go back to your room.”

Xu Ze looked at him for a few seconds before turning around and walking toward his room.

Before closing the door, he waved goodbye to Lu Heyang.

Lu Heyang stood by the front door watching him.

Only after Xu Ze closed his bedroom door did Lu Heyang leave.


“Xu Ze, are you done? Help wash that car over there.”

“Okay.”

Xu Ze crawled out from underneath the car, packed up his toolbox, and went to the car-washing area next door.

He applied the cleaning solution, rinsed the car, and dried the body.

Just as Xu Ze was about to get the air gun, someone called out to him.

“Xu Ze, someone’s looking for you.”

Xu Ze turned around.

A black business van was parked at the entrance. The passenger-side window was halfway down, revealing a completely unfamiliar face.

Xu Ze wiped his hands and walked over.

Two bodyguards got out of the vehicle and stood at the front and back of the car.

The rear door was pushed open.

Xu Ze stopped and watched expressionlessly as Tang Feiyi got out.

It had been a while since they had last seen each other.

Tang Feiyi had become even thinner. There was little color in his face, giving him a gloomy, sickly appearance.

Remembering that the boxer had said the tendons in Tang Feiyi’s hand had been severed, Xu Ze glanced at his wrist.

It was covered by his sleeve, so there was no way to tell.

“What is it?” Xu Ze asked.

He did not want to waste too much time with Tang Feiyi here.

“Nothing. I was just curious.”

Tang Feiyi smiled strangely.

“Curious how our little boxer has managed to climb into the bed of the chairman’s son, yet he’s still here washing cars.”

Xu Ze frowned.

The title chairman’s son was completely unfamiliar to him.

“You seriously don’t know yet?”

Tang Feiyi’s expression was mocking.

“Lu Heyang, the son of the Alliance chairman. You’ve been getting involved with him for so long, and you don’t even know this? You’re not even as good as the dog he keeps—and you still want to get out of the club. Who gave you that confidence?”

“So?” Xu Ze calmly asked in return.

One of Tang Feiyi’s misunderstandings about Xu Ze was that he always thought insults like these could bring Xu Ze down.

But Xu Ze had never cared about them.

As for his relationship with Lu Heyang, no matter how ugly the words or how cutting the mockery, as long as they did not come directly from Lu Heyang himself, none of it mattered to Xu Ze.

Even his intention to leave the club had nothing to do with Lu Heyang.

It had been something Xu Ze had planned from the beginning.

If Ye Yunhua had not urgently needed money for surgery back then, Xu Ze would never have signed a contract with Tang Feiyi.

“So I came here to remind you. You’re not the same as Lu Heyang. If I want to deal with you, it’s really very easy.”

As he spoke, he reached out to pat Xu Ze’s face.

Xu Ze turned his head and coldly avoided him.

Tang Feiyi refused to let it go. He grabbed Xu Ze’s chin and forced him to look directly at him.

“Even if you’re not afraid of dying, you should at least think about your grandmother lying in the hospital, shouldn’t you, Xu Ze?”

Before he could finish speaking, Tang Feiyi did not even clearly see Xu Ze raise his hand.

A sudden, excruciating pain shot through his wrist.

Xu Ze had twisted his right arm behind him and, gripping him by the neck, slammed him against the car with tremendous force.

The bodyguards immediately surrounded them.

Tang Feiyi coughed once.

“Don’t move.”

Xu Ze was not wearing his wristband.

The pheromones of an S-rank alpha spread out, pressing down so heavily that it was difficult to remain standing.

Tang Feiyi’s neck and wrist were numb with pain. His face was pressed against the edge of the car roof, making his speech indistinct.

“Looks like you know just how many weaknesses you have too.”

He gave a mocking laugh.

“What can you possibly do to me?”

“I’ll kill you,” Xu Ze said calmly.

Xu Ze did not make empty threats for the sake of it.

Tang Feiyi knew this very well.

If Xu Ze said he would kill him, then he would definitely do whatever it took to accomplish it.

“Fine. We’ll see.”


“What did you find?” Tang Feiyi asked coldly as the car drove away from the auto repair shop. He rubbed his aching right cheek.

“For now, we found two. We don’t know how many there actually are.”

“Are you sure they’re not from another auto repair shop?”

“Definitely not. Those two have very sharp noses. The moment we arrived, they could already tell something was wrong.”

“There’s nothing wrong with starting with Xu Ze.”

Tang Feiyi looked out the car window.

“There’ll be a time when they can’t help but show themselves. Once we catch one, the people behind them will be much easier to find.”

He moved his right wrist, which still had not fully recovered before Xu Ze had twisted it again.

That hand could never hold a gun again. Now, he could not even hold a cigarette steadily with it.

“I’ve always been a very fair person.”

Tang Feiyi slowly leaned back against the seat. It was unclear who he was saying it to.

“I just want the other side to give me back my right hand.”

Even if he could not take Lu Heyang’s right hand, he still had to find the person who had personally severed the tendons in his hand.


Xu Ze stood there and watched the car drive away.

Then he turned around and walked back into the auto repair shop.

At the sink by the entrance, he washed his hands.

After staring at the running water for a moment, Xu Ze scooped up some water and washed his face.

Tang Feiyi had made far too conspicuous an appearance, and quite a few people had seen him.

Someone came over and asked Xu Ze, “Xu Ze, what happened?”

“Nothing.”

Xu Ze wiped the water from his face.

“It won’t affect the shop.”

He returned to the car-washing area and wanted to finish his work.

Suddenly, his phone chimed.

Xu Ze immediately took it out to check.

It wasn’t from the hospital.

Xu Ze’s expression relaxed slightly.

It was a message from Lu Heyang.

A photo and a text message.

The photo showed Lu Heyang surfing in the sea from the side. His back was bent slightly, the lines of his body full of vitality. The sunlight and droplets of water seemed almost to fall through the screen onto Xu Ze’s face.

The text message was a very short sentence:

Good boy, Xiaozhe. Miss you ^o^

Xu Ze looked at it for a long time.

In the end, he saved the photo, turned off his phone, and continued wiping the car.

Ten minutes later, Xu Ze finished cleaning both the inside and outside of the car and closed the door.

As he hung up the towel, his phone rang again.

This time, it was a call.

Lu Heyang was calling.

“Hello?”

“Wait a moment.”

He Wei’s noisy voice came from the other end of the phone.

Lu Heyang seemed to have walked a few steps away to somewhere quieter before continuing.

“Xu Ze.”

“Mm.”

“Are you busy?”

“No. What’s wrong?”

“Did you see the message?”

Xu Ze answered, “I saw it.”

“Then why didn’t you reply?”

Lu Heyang seemed to ask it with a smile.

The towel had not been hung properly and fell to the ground.

Xu Ze bent down to pick it up.

“Because you weren’t the one who sent it.”

“Mm. He Wei used my phone to send it.”

Xu Ze nodded.

Only after nodding did he remember that Lu Heyang could not see him.

Just as he was about to speak, Lu Heyang continued.

“Xu Ze, don’t worry.”

It was such a sudden sentence that Xu Ze did not know how to respond for a moment.

Because there really was something he needed to worry about right now.

“Whatever it is, don’t worry about it. It’s okay. I’ll take care of it,” Lu Heyang said.

If there had not been no one else around, Xu Ze would almost have suspected that Lu Heyang was standing right beside him.

Otherwise, why would he have said something so perfectly timed?

Although there were many things Xu Ze could not figure out, he still found a strange sense of comfort in Lu Heyang’s words.

He had always been accustomed to solving problems by himself.

This was the first time he had personally experienced something like a sense of security.

It was the feeling of having his anxiety and nervousness soothed.

It was a little unfamiliar.

And a little novel.

 

Hard to Say What I Want

Chapter 49 Chapter 51

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