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Chapter 51

This entry is part 51 of 56 in the series Hard to Say What I Want

Xu Ze went to the sanatorium first thing the next morning.

In theory, there was no reason for him to be too worried. This private sanatorium housed quite a few patients with special identities, and its quality of service and security had always been very high.

Xu Ze had often seen bodyguards stationed outside certain patients’ rooms before.

Zhou Zhen had also just arrived at work.

After changing into his white coat, he came out of the office to make his rounds and happened to encounter Xu Ze getting out of the elevator.

He was a little surprised.

“What’s wrong? Why are you here so early?”

“To bring my grandmother breakfast.”

“The breakfasts here are prepared according to your grandmother’s condition. There’s really no need to come all the way here yourself.”

Zhou Zhen smiled.

Xu Ze nodded and walked around the corner.

He saw an alpha sitting on a chair outside Ye Yunhua’s hospital room, flipping through a book.

Hearing footsteps, he turned his head and glanced at Xu Ze before continuing to read.

“Is he the bodyguard from the room next door?” Xu Ze asked Zhou Zhen.

“Ah… yes, yes.”

Ye Yunhua had just finished washing up with the nurse’s assistance.

Xu Ze put the breakfast on the table.

Zhou Zhen recorded the readings from the medical equipment while chatting with Ye Yunhua, asking whether she felt uncomfortable anywhere.

It wasn’t long before he said goodbye to Xu Ze and went to another room.

“Time for breakfast.”

Xu Ze handed a spoon to Ye Yunhua.

Ye Yunhua looked him up and down.

“Are you a new nurse?”

“Mm.”

“Then let me ask you something. They all refuse to tell me.”

Ye Yunhua took Xu Ze’s hand and pulled him down to sit beside her, leaning closer.

“How much does it cost to stay here for a month? Is it very expensive?”

“It’s not expensive,” Xu Ze answered.

“It must be expensive. When is Xiaoyuan coming to take me home?”

“Xu Ming is always out on missions, and she doesn’t know how to cook. Xu Ze is always going hungry when he’s with her.”

Xu Ze’s hand paused as he opened the lunch box.

It had been a very long time since he had heard his parents’ names from Ye Yunhua.

At that moment, he even felt that perhaps forgetting really was a good thing.

That way, Ye Yunhua would not remember that Xu Ming had died ten years ago and Qiao Yuan had died six years ago.

She could continue waiting for her daughter to come pick her up from the hospital.

She could continue thinking about going home and cooking for her grandson.

Her memories had stopped more than a decade ago.

In this family, Xu Ze was the only one who continued moving forward.

“They’re a little busy. They probably can’t come recently,” Xu Ze said quietly.

“How do you know? Did Xiaoyuan call you?”

“Mm. You were sleeping when she called, so I didn’t wake you.”

“Then remember to wake me up next time so I can answer, okay?”

Xu Ze sat there, holding the lid of the lunch box in his hand, forgetting to put it down for a long time.

“Okay. I definitely will.”

There were only two days left before school started.

Summer camp had ended.

They got off the plane around noon.

Lu Heyang and He Wei went out to eat.

Tonight was the wedding of the son of the Capital’s deputy mayor—that is, Chi Jiahan’s older brother.

The bride was the youngest daughter of the Alliance Committee’s vice chairman.

“You were right not to go,” He Wei said. “If Chi Jiahan weren’t a groomsman, I wouldn’t go either. At occasions like this, juniors like us will definitely be dragged around to socialize. Just thinking about it is annoying.”

“What about Yunchi?”

“He probably won’t go. Ever since that omega showed up, he’s been in a terrible mood. You know that.”

He Wei sighed.

“A 97.5% match rate is way too high. With Yunchi’s special physical condition, if things go wrong, he might be tied down for the rest of his life.”

Lu Heyang took a sip of his lemon water and said nothing.

After eating, he went home, showered, and took a nap.

Around three in the afternoon, Lu Heyang went out.

When he arrived at the auto repair shop where Xu Ze worked, Lu Heyang drove the car into the car-washing area.

The worker washing cars was very perceptive. He politely asked Lu Heyang whether he wanted to sit inside the shop, enjoy the air conditioning, and have a drink.

Lu Heyang declined.

“Where’s Xu Ze?” he asked.

“Oh, you’re looking for Xu Ze?”

The worker put down the water hose.

“He’s in the repair area next door. An accident-damaged car came in around midnight, and he worked overtime repairing it until morning. There’s been a lot to do during the day too, so he hasn’t had a chance to rest. I don’t know if he’s finished with the car he’s working on now. I’ll go get him for you.”

“No need. I’ll find him myself. Thank you.”

“Ah, okay.”

The repair area was somewhat noisy.

Lu Heyang walked from the main entrance all the way to the back but did not see Xu Ze.

Finally, he asked one of the mechanics.

The man pointed toward a tool room in the corner.

The semi-open tool room had no door.

Against the wall was a dirty, battered sofa, small enough for two people.

Xu Ze was curled up on it, catching up on sleep.

The surroundings were messy and noisy. Xu Ze was still wearing that blue one-piece work uniform, his whole body curled up like a piece of blue paint squeezed onto a painter’s palette.

There was no light on inside the tool room, and the lighting was poor.

Only a narrow strip of sunset came through the window, falling across Xu Ze’s tired, peaceful face.

Lu Heyang looked at him.

He felt the sounds around him gradually receding, slowly disappearing.

The summer vacation of a seventeen-year-old in his second year of high school was short, only one month.

All kinds of things had happened. Some people had made decisions, while others had had their futures planned for them.

Lu Heyang could not foresee the changes that were about to happen to himself or the people around him.

Everything was unknown. There were so many uncertainties.

But the moment he stood in front of Xu Ze and saw him, he would once again enter that state of quiet peace.

Xu Ze did not need to do anything.

Just by existing, he could take Lu Heyang away from everything in reality and bring him back to that little room where the wind stirred the white curtains and the fragrance of gardenias drifted through the air.

“Xu Ze, Xu Ze.”

“……”

Xu Ze opened his eyes and frowned slightly before sitting up.

“Why did you come here?”

Chi Jiahan sat down beside him.

“Nothing.”

Xu Ze took out his phone to check the time. He had apparently slept for a little over half an hour, and he breathed a sigh of relief.

He touched the suppressant patch on the back of his neck.

“I’m in heat.”

“It’s fine. I brought a wristband.”

Chi Jiahan handed him a paper bag.

“Eat something.”

“The sofa is dirty.”

Xu Ze was about to stand up and look for a clean piece of cardboard.

“Wait here.”

“Just eat.”

Chi Jiahan grabbed him and stopped him.

“It’s fine.”

Xu Ze opened the bag and took out the snacks.

He didn’t eat them.

Instead, he asked, “Did something happen?”

“My brother is getting married tonight.”

“……”

“Congratulations,” Xu Ze said.

“What am I supposed to be congratulated for? He’s the one who should be congratulated.”

Chi Jiahan lay down, resting his chin on his knees as his fingers picked at his shoelaces.

“My brother transferred one million to me. He said it was my groomsman red envelope.”

“I’m really happy for him.”

Chi Jiahan said this, but there was no trace of happiness on his face.

He scratched the corner of his eye.

“If your grandmother needs money, I’ll transfer some to you.”

Knowing Xu Ze would definitely refuse, Chi Jiahan added, “It’s a loan. I’m telling you to borrow it from me early. Otherwise, if my dad finds out my brother gave me money, he’ll freeze my card again.”

Xu Ze said softly, “Okay.”

He understood that Chi Jiahan had not come specifically to talk about money.

He had come because he was upset and wanted to stay with him for a while.

Many years ago, Ye Yunhua had taken Xu Ze to the Chi family’s home to make pastries.

That was how Xu Ze met Chi Jiahan, who was also quiet by nature and liked staying alone in his room.

Ye Yunhua would always put some freshly baked pastries into a small bag and secretly have Xu Ze take them to Chi Jiahan first.

At that time, Chi Jiahan’s parents had already been divorced for half a year.

His father’s former lover had brought an illegitimate son who was eight years older than Chi Jiahan into the Chi family and become the legitimate Mrs. Chi.

After the guests left, his stepmother would throw the leftover pastries to Chi Jiahan.

But his illegitimate older brother was an alpha who would take him to the garden to swing whenever he came home from school.

During the summer vacation of ninth grade, on the way to the bookstore, Chi Jiahan experienced his first heat.

Xu Ze, whom he had not seen for many years, rescued him from several delinquent alphas in an alley and took him to the special-assistance center to get a suppressant injection.

Chi Jiahan hated alphas.

His hatred came from his father and the bad people he had encountered.

Only his older brother and Xu Ze were the two exceptions.

“I’m leaving first. I need to go to the hotel early to get ready.”

Chi Jiahan let out a breath and straightened up.

Xu Ze stood up with him.

“It’s going to get dark. It isn’t safe. I’ll take you.”

“No need. The driver is outside.”

Chi Jiahan said, “I’m leaving.”

He wanted to smile, but he couldn’t manage it.

Xu Ze looked at Chi Jiahan for a moment, then raised his hand and squeezed his shoulder.

After seeing Chi Jiahan out of the auto repair shop, Xu Ze turned back.

Someone called out to him.

“Hey, Xu Ze, why does someone come looking for you every few days? Two people came today alone.”

“Two?”

Xu Ze stopped.

“Yeah. There was an alpha earlier who came and left after only a short while. I thought you knew.”

Thinking that Lu Heyang should have returned to the country today as well, Xu Ze immediately asked, “What did he look like?”

“Uh… like a high school student. About your height. Looked pretty rich.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

Xu Ze took out his phone.

He wanted to message Lu Heyang and ask if something had happened.

But then he remembered that Lu Heyang had neither woken him nor left him a message.

He had probably just come by to take a look.

Though Xu Ze had no idea how Lu Heyang had even found out that he worked here.

The manager came out from the shop next door and called Xu Ze over to calculate his wages.

Xu Ze went into his office and looked through all of his work orders for the month. After confirming there were no problems, he signed them.

“If you’re finished with the work, you can head home. You’ve worked pretty hard this month too. School starts in a couple of days, so get some rest at home. I’ll transfer your wages to your account tomorrow morning.”

Xu Ze nodded.

The manager shook the ash from his cigarette and continued, “You’re such a good prospect. You learn quickly and you can endure hardship. You shouldn’t be in a place like this. Study hard. When you get into university, come tell me the good news, got it?”

“I definitely will,” Xu Ze answered.


That night, once the wedding proceedings were over, Chi Jiahan disappeared.

He Wei made his way through the guests chatting and laughing over wine glasses and walked outside the banquet hall.

They were on the top floor of the hotel. An S-shaped swimming pool was built into the terrace, with a completely transparent railing. The sea was not far away.

He Wei was slightly afraid of heights. He covered his chest with one hand as he walked, and finally spotted a familiar head beneath a sunshade in the corner.

He walked around the wooden railing and down the steps.

Chi Jiahan sat with his back to him, staring at something.

When He Wei got closer, he finally heard, beneath the sound of the wind high above the ground, that Chi Jiahan was crying.

His first reaction was not to go over and comfort him, but to turn around and run away.

Given Chi Jiahan’s temper, if someone discovered him secretly crying, he would definitely be so angry that he would never want to see that person again.

But in the end, He Wei didn’t run.

Actually running away would have been stupid.

He calmly walked toward Chi Jiahan.

However, because the lighting was poor, he tripped over a chair halfway there and staggered several steps violently.

“Holy shit…”

He Wei was scared out of his mind. He was genuinely afraid that he wouldn’t stop himself in time and would go tumbling over the glass railing.

Chi Jiahan was startled and immediately stopped crying.

“What are you doing?”

Hearing the tears still lingering in his voice comforted He Wei.

After steadying himself, he sat down beside Chi Jiahan.

“Nothing. I came to chat with you.”

“What is there to talk about?”

Chi Jiahan sniffed.

He Wei took a handkerchief from the breast pocket of his suit and handed it to him.

“Okay, then we won’t talk. I’ll just sit with you for a while.”

Chi Jiahan didn’t take it.

He Wei asked, “Does that mean you want me to wipe your tears for you?”

“You’re crazy,” Chi Jiahan said.

He took the handkerchief and wiped his face.

But the more he wiped, the more tears seemed to come, and he couldn’t stop them at all.

He Wei patted Chi Jiahan’s back, then put an arm around his shoulders.

“Our little Chi, are you this moved because your brother got married?”

Chi Jiahan ground out two words through his teeth.

“Shut up.”

So He Wei shut up.

A few minutes later, Chi Jiahan had calmed down somewhat.

He wiped his tears dry and was just about to stand when he heard footsteps above them, the wooden floor creaking beneath someone’s steps.

Several people stopped very close to them, beside the wooden railing.

“The western-city project is definitely out of the question. I’ve seen the draft tender documents. The conditions were practically tailor-made for the Gu family.”

He Wei recognized the voice.

It was Lu Heyang’s brother-in-law, Wei Lingzhou.

“Then the western-city and the docks connection is basically going to be cut off completely. Tsk.”

Chi Jiahan’s eyes widened slightly.

He leaned close to He Wei’s ear and whispered, “It’s Tang Feiyi.”

He Wei lowered his head and looked at him, a little surprised that Chi Jiahan knew Tang Feiyi.

But he quickly remembered that Chi Jiahan was Xu Ze’s friend and probably knew about the club as well.

“You really are quite the chairman’s son-in-law…”

Tang Feiyi laughed again.

“With such a huge benefit right in front of you, and he really won’t give it to you.”

“When Lu Chengyu was running for office back then, the Gu family provided huge amounts of money all along the way. Their cooperation started more than twenty years ago. You know that.”

Wei Lingzhou scoffed.

“Besides, they’ve already found out that I’ve been in contact with you. How could they possibly still give the project to me? The city government isn’t stupid.”

“This matter can’t be turned around anymore. You should clean up the western-city side as soon as possible. Since you’ve already been noticed, keep a low profile.”

This was a third person’s voice.

He Wei frowned.

It was He Yu.

A while ago, Lu Heyang had told him that Xu Ze had seen He Yu at the club.

At the time, summer camp had not ended yet, so He Wei had planned to ask He Yu about it after he returned.

He had even thought he would ask him after the wedding.

He never expected to overhear him here, talking privately with Tang Feiyi and Wei Lingzhou.

Xu Ze’s Healing Station

【It’s heat season this time. We definitely won’t waste Xu Ze’s heat period again. Hehehe.】

 

Hard to Say What I Want

Chapter 50 Chapter 52

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