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Chapter 60

This entry is part 60 of 65 in the series Hard to Say What I Want

After returning from the nursing home, Xu Ze received a message from the boxing gym manager, who seemed to have learned that Ye Yunhua had switched to a more expensive targeted therapy medication.

During the several months he had been away from the club, Xu Ze had received invitations to fight more than once. Every time, his reply had been a simple, “I’m not coming back.”

Xu Ze had been waiting all along for Tang Feiyi to use that contract to make trouble and force him to return to the ring. But perhaps he had placed too much importance on the contract. Maybe, in other people’s eyes, signing it had merely been a formality.

The boxing gym was never short of fighters willing to risk their lives for money. If Xu Ze didn’t want to fight, there would always be someone else eager to take his place.

The difference was that skilled fighters charged high fees, while Xu Ze was the only one who never haggled over his compensation. The money he saved naturally ended up in the manager’s pocket, so the man would have loved to arrange even more fights for him.

Besides, as an S-class alpha, Xu Ze was a gold mine in terms of both publicity and fighting ability.

Xu Ze stared at the invitation message for a long time that day. In the end, he still replied:

I’m not coming back.

Then he found the phone number of the manager at the auto repair shop and called.

“Hello? Xu Ze?”

“Manager, do you need anyone to work from around six or seven in the evening until two in the morning lately?”

“Night shifts? You have school during the day, and now you want to work nights too? Won’t that be too much for you?”

“I’ll be fine.”

“I can put you on the schedule, but you know how night shifts work. Officially, you finish at two, but if there’s an accident after two and someone calls you, you have to get to the scene immediately. Things can get messy, and you might end up staying awake the entire night.”

“Mm, I understand,” Xu Ze said. “Thank you.”

He Wei had gone to his uncle’s house and He Yu’s home for two days in a row without finding him. Tonight, he finally managed to corner He Yu at Huyan Residence.

Huyan Residence had particularly good privacy measures, with each private dining room having its own separate entrance and exit. He Wei had always thought the place was like a maze.

After eating his fill of desserts and fruit in a private room, He Wei received word that He Yu’s gathering was about to break up. He went to get his car and, at a carefully chosen angle, blocked He Yu’s car completely in its parking space.

“Changed cars again?” He Yu said with a smile after saying goodbye to his friends and stopping beside He Wei’s car.

“Get in.” He Wei glanced at him.

He Yu gestured to his driver, then got into He Wei’s car.

He Wei couldn’t be bothered to argue with He Yu about playing hide-and-seek with him, so he got straight to the point.

“Why are you getting involved with Tang Feiyi?”

“Why are you, a kid, worrying about this?”

“Someone said they’d seen you at the West City Club before. And on the day Chi Jiahan’s older brother got married, I saw you smoking with Tang Feiyi and Wei Lingzhou.” He Wei’s brows were knitted together. “Why are you working with Tang Feiyi? Isn’t there enough money to be made from our own company?”

“Who in this world would complain about having too much money?” He Yu took out a cigarette, then remembered that He Wei disliked the smell of smoke. He merely held it between his fingers and sniffed it.

“If you get involved in shady business, how is Uncle supposed to hand the company over to you?”

He Yu’s expression darkened slightly. He snapped the cigarette in his hand in two.

“It’s one thing if outsiders don’t know, but you should understand, shouldn’t you?”

“Have you ever seen an heir spend years working in a corporation without gaining any real power?” He Yu said coldly. “I’d like to keep my hands clean, too. But my father only has eyes for that eldest son of his, the one doing research overseas who refuses to come back and inherit the family business. He’s dragging things out and refusing to hand over power to me because he’s waiting for my brother to change his mind and come back.”

He Wei fell silent for several seconds before saying, “Regardless, you’re still Uncle’s son. It’s impossible for him to give you nothing.”

“I’ve already outgrown the little scraps he’s willing to give me.” He Yu tossed the crushed cigarette out the car window and pressed his fingers against his temple. “Xiao Wei, not everyone has grown up spoiled by their parents the way you have. When you’re happy, you race cars and date people. When you’re unhappy, you take a vacation on an island.”

“Out of all the younger generation in the He family, you’re the one I’m closest to, and the only one who’s genuinely sincere with me. But we’re really not cut from the same cloth. Do you know why Chi Jiahan rejected you? Because an omega who grew up in a family like his isn’t going to be compatible with you, either. You’re only suited to dating rich young ladies and young masters like your exes, people who can live carefree lives without a worry in the world.”

If anyone else had said those things, He Wei would have told them to get lost long ago. But now, he merely stared ahead with an expressionless face.

“I’m not saying all this because I want you to change. You’re fine the way you are. I hope you never have to worry about anything. But don’t keep judging other people from your own perspective. It won’t help.” He Yu let out a long breath. “Pull over.”

There was nothing left to say. He Wei pressed the brake and pulled over to the side of the road.

“One more thing. Tell your boxer friend to stay away from Tang Feiyi and not to go back to the club.” He Yu closed the car door. “Drive slowly. Be careful on the road.”

He Wei didn’t respond. He started the car and drove away.

Lu Heyang hadn’t come to school for the past two days. He only showed up at the swimming complex today, just before the first official test of their swimming class.

When he came out of the changing room and entered the pool area, the S-class students from both classes had already lined up to warm up and take their tests. Gu Yunchi was there, too, chatting with He Wei, while Xu Ze stood behind the two of them in line.

As soon as Lu Heyang came down the steps, he met Xu Ze’s gaze. Xu Ze had been looking toward the entrance the whole time, clearly waiting for someone or looking for someone.

He and Lu Heyang looked at each other for several seconds. Xu Ze then turned his head away, but a short while later, he looked back again and watched Lu Heyang join the end of the line.

Ten seconds later, Xu Ze stepped out from the middle of the queue and moved behind Lu Heyang, becoming the last person in line.

“What’s wrong?” Lu Heyang asked, turning halfway toward him.

“…”

Xu Ze thought there seemed to be a hint of amusement in Lu Heyang’s eyes, as though he were asking a question to which he already knew the answer. Xu Ze said nothing and lowered his head, realizing that his intentions had probably already been exposed.

Lu Heyang reached back, took Xu Ze by the wrist, and pulled him closer.

“Stand here.”

Xu Ze took a step forward and stood shoulder to shoulder with Lu Heyang. Lu Heyang released his wrist, his fingertips sliding across Xu Ze’s palm before hooking around his ring finger and little finger.

Everyone else was still chatting and laughing. Xu Ze and Lu Heyang stood quietly at the back of the crowd, becoming a little world of their own, separate from everyone else.

“Hey, where’s Xu Ze?” He Wei asked in the middle of a conversation. When he turned around and saw that Xu Ze had disappeared, he leaned out to look behind him. “Why has he gone all the way to the back? When did Heyang get here?”

“When you weren’t looking,” Gu Yunchi replied.

He Wei thought about it for a moment, then said, “Isn’t that just stating the obvious?”

After the 50-meter freestyle test came the 200-meter individual medley. Xu Ze and Lu Heyang were in the last group, and most of the students ahead of them had already returned to the changing rooms.

Lu Heyang’s swimming results were particularly impressive this time. It was probably because of the high-intensity physical training he’d undergone at the military academy. He reached the finish nearly two seconds ahead of Xu Ze, who came in second.

After touching the wall, Lu Heyang was about to surface when someone suddenly grabbed his hand. He looked to his left underwater and saw Xu Ze reaching out with his other hand to touch the wall before swimming toward him.

The teaching assistants were busy recording the results. Red-and-yellow buoys bobbed amid the churning splashes. Like a fish hiding beneath the surface, Xu Ze swam toward Lu Heyang silently but boldly.

Taking advantage of the rippling water and the cover of the buoys, he kissed Lu Heyang on the mouth.

Muted sounds of water surged in his ears, mixed with the heavy, rapid pounding of his heart. His mind was filled with the faint feeling of suffocation that came from holding his breath.

Xu Ze thought that perhaps he would never again have the courage he had in that moment.

He saw Lu Heyang’s brief look of surprise, followed by a smile as he blew a bubble at Xu Ze. Then Lu Heyang moved his lips and silently mouthed a few words.

Xu Ze was too nervous, and there was no time to react. Before he could figure out what Lu Heyang had said, Lu Heyang grabbed his arm and pulled him to the surface.

The instant they could breathe again, noisy sounds rushed in from every direction, surrounding them.

They had returned to reality.

When He Wei came out of the shower, dressed and ready to go, Xu Ze and Lu Heyang had only just finished their tests. Xu Ze was sitting on a bench, while Lu Heyang stood in front of him with his back against the lockers, unscrewing a bottle of mineral water.

The last rays of the setting sun streamed through the high windows at an angle, falling directly on Xu Ze and Lu Heyang. The entire changing room was filled with warm, golden light. He Wei noticed that Xu Ze kept looking up at Lu Heyang, his gaze and expression focused, quiet, and obedient. After unscrewing the bottle cap, Lu Heyang straightened up and took a step forward, bringing the water to Xu Ze’s lips.

Xu Ze tilted his head back and opened his mouth, his lips closing around half the bottle’s opening. The line of light outlining his neck rose and fell with every movement of his Adam’s apple, like the surface of the sea where waves swelled and overlapped at sunset. Xu Ze’s eyes remained fixed on Lu Heyang above him, never looking away for even a second.

He Wei froze for a moment, then wiped his hair with his towel before rubbing his eyes.

Instinctively, he felt that the scene was outrageous, yet he couldn’t quite explain what made it so outrageous. After all, Lu Heyang becoming friends with Xu Ze was already rather unusual. But since it had happened, Xu Ze must have been someone special in Lu Heyang’s eyes. And if that was the case, giving a special friend a drink of water suddenly seemed reasonable again.

“Are you not going to shower?” He Wei walked farther into the changing room. For some inexplicable reason, he felt as though he’d forced his way into someone else’s private space, making him unusually inclined to reflect on whether he should have come here at all.

“Mm.” Lu Heyang glanced at him, then looked back at Xu Ze. “Go change.”

Xu Ze nodded and stood up to open his locker. Then the two of them went to the shower room.

Not long afterward, Gu Yunchi came in after changing. He wiped his hair as he went to get his sports bag.

“I think something’s strange,” He Wei said while organizing his belongings.

“What is?” Gu Yunchi didn’t even raise his head. “Are you wondering how you’ve managed to survive until now with that head of yours?”

“Tsk!” He Wei was already in a bad mood. He threw down his towel. “Why is your mouth so vicious? Last time, I saw you coming out of the equipment room one after the other with that omega. He was crying as he walked away. You did that, didn’t you? Did you hit him? I’m going to tell Grandpa Gu later.”

Gu Yunchi turned his head and stared at him coldly.

“What are you looking at?” He Wei shouted. “If I’m going down, we’re all going down together!”

Gu Yunchi had never bothered responding to such childish arguments. He sat down, took out his phone, and started using it. He Wei muttered a few more complaints before sitting down to play on his own phone as well.

Xu Ze was the first to finish showering. He came out just as He Wei, in the middle of a game, turned to ask him, “Is Heyang not done yet?”

“He’s getting dressed,” Xu Ze answered.

His face and neck were slightly red from the water.

Half a minute later, Lu Heyang returned to the changing room. After gathering their things, the four of them headed out together.

Suddenly, Lu Heyang said, “Xu Ze, you’ve grown a tail.”

Xu Ze felt something tug at his back. Confused, he turned around and discovered that Lu Heyang was pulling on the drawstring of his sweatpants.

He’d put them on backward.

Xu Ze froze. He reached back, intending to tie the drawstring himself, but Lu Heyang said, “I’ll do it for you.”

He tied the drawstring into a knot, then gave Xu Ze’s waist a gentle push.

“Done. Let’s go.”

He Wei, who was walking ahead, turned to look at the two of them. That strange feeling surfaced again, but this time he kept quiet. Otherwise, he would undoubtedly end up arguing with Gu Yunchi again.

When they reached the school gate, He Wei asked Xu Ze whose car he wanted to take.

Xu Ze shook his head. “I’ll go home first.”

“Why? Come have dinner with us! It’s rare for Heyang to be able to join us these days.”

“I have something to do tonight.” If he went to dinner with them, he’d be late for his shift at the auto repair shop. Xu Ze said, “You guys go ahead.”

After speaking, he looked at Lu Heyang, as though waiting for some kind of instruction.

Lu Heyang told him, “Be careful on the way. We’ll have dinner together next time.”

“Mm.” Xu Ze adjusted his backpack and headed toward the bicycle parking area.

“Is he going to work?” He Wei asked after Xu Ze had left.

Lu Heyang nodded. In the distance, Xu Ze was pushing his bicycle out of the rack.

“As long as he doesn’t go back to the club, I guess it’s fine… But the admissions exams are coming up. Won’t working affect his studies? Aren’t you going to lend Xu Ze some money to tide him over so he can focus on studying for now?”

“He won’t accept it,” Lu Heyang said.

Xu Ze wouldn’t accept the money, much less ask for it himself. There was absolutely no room for compromise on this matter. He had long since grown accustomed to exhausting his health and sacrificing his rest to earn money. It was simply the way he lived.

Xu Ze didn’t consider other options, and no one else had the right to judge or interfere with his choices.

After dinner at the hotel, He Wei and Gu Yunchi went to the entertainment area to play pool. Lu Heyang went to the restroom alone, where an alpha was standing in front of the sink.

“We’ve almost finished investigating. Gambling dens, boxing gyms, sex trafficking, prohibited drugs. The boxing gyms are particularly bad. Someone has been using the fighters for performance-enhancing drug trials, and quite a few people have already died.”

Lu Heyang responded with a quiet “Mm.”

“Wait a little longer. Let’s wait until the Gu family secures the West City project.”

“Mr. Lu is returning to the country tomorrow,” Jiang Wen said. “He should already know about the previous kidnapping.”

“It doesn’t matter.” Lu Heyang washed his hands. “Uncle Wen, help me investigate someone.”

“Xu Ming. A criminal investigator with the Capital General Bureau. He died in the line of duty ten years ago after falling down a mountain during an operation, but his family never saw his body. Find out exactly what that operation involved and who else was there with him.”

“A case from ten years ago might take some time.”

“Mm.” Lu Heyang dried his hands. “There’s no rush. Let me know when you find something.”

 

Hard to Say What I Want

Chapter 59 Chapter 61

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