Chapter 62
Lin Xiaoran’s sudden appearance took both Gu Yang and Gu Xiuyuan by surprise.
However, their reactions couldn’t have been more different. Gu Xiuyuan immediately understood what Lin Xiaoran meant and even felt a sense of fear at his earlier outburst. He quickly nodded in agreement, “Alright, I won’t tell your mother. Ranran, you’re truly thoughtful.”
Lin Xiaoran didn’t respond to the compliment, but after confirming that Gu Xiuyuan wouldn’t inform Lin Lan, he sighed with some relief. Still, he couldn’t help but glance back at Gu Yang.
Gu Yang was already staring at him, his amber eyes fixed intensely on Lin Xiaoran’s face, as if searching for some sign that this was all just a joke.
Lin Xiaoran’s heart felt as though it had been struck heavily. He wanted nothing more than to rush over and hold Gu Yang tightly, begging him not to show such a heartbreaking expression.
But in the end, he kept his calm and said to Gu Xiuyuan, “Uncle Gu, can I talk to Gu Yang alone for a bit?”
Gu Xiuyuan understood that, at this moment, Lin Xiaoran was probably the only one who could console Gu Yang. He glanced at his son, nodded, and quietly left the room, closing the door behind him.
The soft click of the closing door seemed unbearably loud in Gu Yang’s mind, shaking him awake. His thoughts echoed with Lin Xiaoran’s words from earlier—“Gu Yang and I will break up.”
In that instant, he wasn’t sure if what he felt was more sorrow or fury. Grabbing Lin Xiaoran’s wrist, he yanked him forward forcefully, his voice trembling with anger, “Lin Xiaoran, what am I to you? You decided to break up—did you even ask me?”
The calm, composed Gu Yang was gone, replaced by someone overwhelmed with suppressed rage and bitter disappointment.
Of course, he was disappointed. After encountering just a minor obstacle, the person he loved the most had immediately decided to break up without a second thought. What did that make him? He began to question whether Lin Xiaoran had ever truly cared for him. He couldn’t believe that someone like Lin Xiaoran would so easily say something like “let’s break up.”
Lin Xiaoran didn’t struggle against his grip. Instead, he looked at Gu Yang—this unfamiliar version of Gu Yang—and his chest ached in a way he couldn’t quite explain. He almost regretted what he had said earlier. He wanted to take it all back, to tell Gu Yang they wouldn’t break up, that no matter what they faced, he wouldn’t leave him.
But he couldn’t.
Lowering his head, avoiding Gu Yang’s gaze, Lin Xiaoran spoke softly, “Gu Yang, I’m sorry. If my mom finds out about this, she’ll definitely break up with Uncle Gu to make things easier for me. I can’t do that. I can’t let her give up her happiness just for my sake.”
“So you’re giving up on me instead?” Gu Yang’s voice was cold as he shot back.
“Gu Yang…” Lin Xiaoran kept his head down, still not daring to look up at him, afraid that if he did, he would lose his resolve. He spoke quietly, “Do you know why I always put so many strange seasonings in the noodles I cook?”
Gu Yang froze, confused by the sudden change in topic.
After a brief pause, Lin Xiaoran continued, “When I was little, I used to be left alone in a room for days, with nothing to eat. I was so hungry that I taught myself how to cook noodles. But I didn’t know what the seasonings were, so I’d just add a little of everything. It became a habit, and I still can’t break it.”
Lin Xiaoran almost never spoke about his childhood, because it was a chapter of his life he never wanted to revisit.
Lin Lan had grown up in a rural village, making her way to the city as a college graduate. She had met a gentle and handsome senior during her most romantic, hopeful years. How could she not have fallen in love?
But no one could have predicted that the man who had been so tender while they were dating would turn into a completely different person after marriage.
After being repeatedly subjected to domestic violence, Lin Lan finally filed for divorce.
At the time, Lin Lan wasn’t the successful TV host she is now. She had only recently graduated from university, and after the divorce, she didn’t even have a place to live. The court naturally awarded custody of Lin Xiaoran to his father.
For the next two years, Lin Xiaoran’s memories consisted only of a dark room, a cold glass window, and relentless beatings.
Especially after his father remarried, and his new wife, who was herself a victim of abuse, took her anger out on him.
During those two years, his only hope was the monthly visit from Lin Lan.
Every time, she would bring him delicious food and take him to an amusement park, giving him a brief reprieve from that dark house.
When he was six, he was beaten again. After the beating, his father locked him inside and left. Lin Xiaoran lay on the floor, bleeding from his head. Warm liquid dripped onto his eyelids. He thought it was water and tried to wipe it away, but the blood blurred his vision.
He tried to stop the bleeding with a towel, but the blood wouldn’t stop. It just kept flowing, soaking the towel, until he felt lightheaded and weak.
For a moment, he wondered if he was going to die. And if he died, he’d never see his mother again.
He dropped the towel and rushed to call Lin Lan. She must have been busy, as it rang for what felt like an eternity before she finally picked up.
His eyelids grew heavier and heavier, and fearing he wouldn’t have time to speak before it was too late, he blurted out, “Mom, I think I might be dying. I probably won’t get to see you again, so don’t miss me.”
After saying those words, he lost consciousness.
When he awoke, he saw the window had been shattered, and Lin Lan, soaking wet, was climbing in from outside.
They lived on the sixth floor at the time. Since no one was home, Lin Lan couldn’t get inside, so she begged a neighbor to let her climb across their balcony.
When she got inside and saw her son lying on the ground, half his face stained with blood and barely breathing, she nearly broke down.
She scooped Lin Xiaoran into her arms and ran to the hospital.
That night, it was pouring rain, and they couldn’t even hail a taxi. Lin Lan ran through the rain for half an hour, clutching him tightly, until they finally burst into the hospital. By the time they arrived, she was so exhausted she could barely stand.
Luckily, despite the excessive bleeding, the injury wasn’t too severe. After receiving treatment and two IV drips, Lin Xiaoran was discharged.
But that moment left a deep psychological scar on Lin Lan. After that, she refused to send her son back to his father’s house, no matter what.
She brought Lin Xiaoran back to live with her, but his father came by every day, demanding his son.
During that time, every night, Lin Lan would lock all the doors and windows, hiding with Lin Xiaoran in the corner of her bedroom. His father would pound on the door relentlessly, sometimes even bringing the new wife along, both of them hurling vicious insults from the hallway.
Lin Lan didn’t dare call the police, though, because according to the divorce settlement, Lin Xiaoran was legally in his father’s custody. She feared that if the police got involved, they would forcibly send Lin Xiaoran back, without caring about the situation.
So they lived in constant fear.
Fortunately, the new wife eventually became pregnant. Lin Xiaoran’s father, perhaps seeing him as expendable, finally stopped causing trouble.
Still, Lin Lan couldn’t rest easy. She quit her job and took Lin Xiaoran to a different city.
After that, their lives finally began to stabilize.
But Lin Lan never forgave herself. She believed that by escaping on her own and leaving her son behind, she had subjected him to two years of torment. To her, it was an unforgivable failure.
So, from then on, she did everything in her power to make it up to him, always terrified he might suffer again.
Because of Lin Xiaoran, no matter how many good men pursued her over the years, she never accepted them. She was afraid they wouldn’t treat him well. She was also afraid that if she had more children in a new family, her love for Lin Xiaoran would be divided.
All these years, Gu Xiuyuan was the only one who made Lin Lan feel comfortable enough to let go of her guilt and allow herself to accept love again. Lin Xiaoran had always been happy for her because of it.
While many people might resent their parents for remarrying, Lin Xiaoran had always hoped his mother would find someone.
He knew all too well how hard life had been for her. He wanted someone to be there for her, to shield her from life’s hardships.
And now, that person had finally appeared.
“Gu Yang, if you were me, what would you do?”
Lin Xiaoran left after that, but those words kept echoing in Gu Yang’s mind.
When Lin Xiaoran said that, he had finally lifted his head and looked at Gu Yang. In those clear eyes, for the first time, Gu Yang saw struggle, reluctance, and helplessness.
Of course. If Gu Yang were in Lin Xiaoran’s shoes, what could he do?
After everything his mother had sacrificed for him, she had finally found someone she liked, someone who helped her let go of her past and allowed her to consider building a new life. Should he really be the one to force her to give that up just for his own feelings?
No. Gu Yang knew that he wouldn’t have to force anything.
Lin Lan loved Lin Xiaoran so deeply that if she knew being with Gu Xiuyuan would ruin her son’s relationship, she would break up with Gu Xiuyuan without hesitation.
Lin Xiaoran understood his mother far too well, which is why he couldn’t risk letting her find out.
Gu Yang leaned back, collapsing onto the bed. His hand pressed against his chest.
It hurt.
He didn’t know whether the pain came from the breakup or from Lin Xiaoran’s childhood experiences.
He recalled that night in the hotel when he and Lin Xiaoran shared a bed. He had been too excited to sleep, yet he had watched Lin Xiaoran slip into a nightmare.
Now, looking back, he finally understood why Lin Xiaoran had seemed so fragile and insecure that night. He must have been dreaming about his past.
Why hadn’t he held Lin Xiaoran tightly then?
Would there be no chance for that in the future?
Once Lin Xiaoran had made up his mind to break up, wouldn’t there be no room for negotiation?
Gu Yang suddenly flipped over, burying his face in the pillow and remaining motionless for a long time.
Meanwhile, Lin Xiaoran had changed into his clothes and had the Gu family’s driver take him back to Tianjun Peak.
Lin Lan was busy at work, and it was unlikely she would be home during the day.
The empty house felt desolate, and without the air conditioning on, Lin Xiaoran, still recovering from his fever, felt a chill creep over him.
He changed his shoes at the door and went straight to his room, turning on the air conditioning before collapsing onto the bed, wrapping himself tightly in the blanket.
Perhaps it was a lingering effect of the fever; he seemed unable to wake up, spending the entire day in bed.
By the time Lin Lan returned home that evening, she noticed the house was dark and felt a twinge of worry. She had called Gu Xiuyuan before leaving work, and he had said Lin Xiaoran returned home early in the morning. Now that there were no lights on, she was concerned that Lin Xiaoran might still be feverish. She rushed to open the bedroom door and turned on the light, her beautiful eyes widening in surprise as she saw Lin Xiaoran curled up under the blanket.
It had been many years since she had seen him like this.
When Lin Xiaoran had first come home with her, he had been so insecure that he would curl up like a little ball while sleeping alone.
It took a long time before he learned that he would no longer have to return to his old home, and only then did that habit slowly fade away.
What was happening now?
Lin Lan hurried over and gently called out to him, “Ranran, what’s wrong? Is your fever still not gone? Mom will take you to the hospital—Ranran…”
The person wrapped in the blanket stirred slightly, pulled down the cover, and shook his head, “The fever’s gone; I’m just a bit sleepy, nothing… cough cough…”
Before he could finish his sentence, another fit of coughing interrupted him.
Lin Lan quickly began patting his back. “Why are you coughing again? You must still be sick. Should we go see a doctor?”
Not only was he coughing, but Lin Lan also noticed his complexion looked particularly poor; his lips had lost color, and he appeared even more drained than when he had the fever a couple of days ago.
“I’m fine, I just need to take some medicine.” Lin Xiaoran, fearing Lin Lan would insist on taking him to the hospital, quickly changed the subject. “Mom, I’m hungry; I didn’t eat anything for lunch.”
Upon hearing this, Lin Lan confirmed again that he didn’t have a fever before rushing out to prepare dinner.
Lying on the bed, Lin Xiaoran stared blankly at the ceiling for a long while before finally getting up to take a shower.
When he finished and stepped out, Lin Lan’s dinner was almost ready, so he went directly to the dining room.
When he said he was hungry, he actually didn’t feel that way; after a few bites, he couldn’t eat anymore. But not wanting Lin Lan to notice something was off, he forced himself to continue eating.
Seeing that he had a decent appetite, Lin Lan felt a bit more at ease. Although he coughed a couple of times while eating, it didn’t seem serious, so she brightened up and started discussing their plans for the New Year.
“Your grandma called again today, asking us to come back to the countryside for the New Year. Do you want to go?”
Lin Xiaoran’s grandmother lived in a remote village in the southwest. In the past, when Lin Lan had time during the holidays, they would go back, but if she had to work overtime, they wouldn’t return.
This year, Lin Xiaoran hadn’t initially wanted to go. The winter break for his senior year was too short—just about ten days—plus he had a pile of homework to finish. He thought he’d have plenty of time during the summer to visit.
Now, though, he felt that going wouldn’t be too bad.
He nodded, “Let’s go; we didn’t go last year.”
“Great! I thought you’d want to stay home and study. Honestly, there’s no need to be so stressed about studying. You’re doing so well; you need to relax a bit. I’ll book the tickets. I have to record a show tomorrow, and we’ll leave the day after.”
“Okay.”
After the mother and son settled their plans, Lin Lan had to work the next day, while Lin Xiaoran stayed home to pack. As he opened the drawer to pull out a couple of exercise books to bring along, he stumbled upon a bottle of Alpha pheromone extract that had been sitting there for a long time, a gift from Lin Lan when she had traveled abroad.
His fingers hovered over it, hesitating for a moment before he quickly withdrew his hand and closed the drawer.
Forget it. He had gotten through his heats just fine without it before.
Just as he was about to tidy up other things, the doorbell rang. To his surprise, it was a package, addressed for him to sign for.
He found it strange that he hadn’t ordered anything, and he couldn’t figure out who would send him something.
After signing for the package, he immediately opened the box and was met with a bewildering sight: inside was an Alpha pheromone extraction syringe.
What was this for?
There was also a note inside. He pulled it out and unfolded it, his expression freezing upon seeing the familiar handwriting.
It was from Gu Yang, with just one line: “My pheromones should still work, right?”
“Cough cough…” Lin Xiaoran suddenly broke into a fit of coughing, so violent that he felt like he might throw up. He gripped the note and the syringe tightly, his knuckles turning white.
After coughing for a while, he finally managed to calm down, shoving the note and the syringe into his bag.
The next morning, mother and son rushed to the airport, boarding a flight heading southwest.
Meanwhile, Gu Yang had just woken up. After washing up, he pulled out an empty suitcase and started packing two changes of clothes before heading downstairs.
When he bumped into his grandparents downstairs, he casually remarked, “I’m going out to have some fun for a few days,” and walked straight out without waiting for a response.
Even when his grandmother chased after him, asking where he was going, he didn’t answer.
In truth, he didn’t know where he was headed; he just didn’t want to stay here.
After Lin Xiaoran left the day before, he had felt an urgent desire to escape. Yet he was worried about Lin Xiaoran potentially going into heat, so he contacted a professional organization to extract his pheromones and had them sent to Lin Xiaoran.
He felt somewhat ridiculous. They had broken up, yet was he really going to allow Lin Xiaoran to use someone else’s pheromones for the rest of his life?
He knew he shouldn’t care, but he did—he just wanted to send them.
Once he had sent them off, it was as if Lin Xiaoran had used them.
On the way to the airport by taxi, he finally opened his phone to buy a plane ticket. Tickets for the twenty-ninth of the twelfth lunar month were limited; the earliest departure was to a province in the southwest, so he purchased it without hesitation.
Upon arriving at the airport, he just managed to catch the security check and boarding. When he woke up again, he was already in another place.
