On Feiyao Terrace hung lanterns of all shapes and arrangements—some woven from bamboo, some covered in paper—looking like a brilliant river of stars flowing through the long night. Fine snow fell rustlingly amid the dazzling lantern light, a thin layer accumulating on the vermilion-carved railings.
Two women stood amid the lanterns and snow. One wore a red jacket and skirt embroidered with butterfly patterns and was speaking with a bright, charming smile. The other wore a goose-yellow outfit embroidered with plum blossoms and bamboo, standing beside the vermilion railing and looking up at a delicate fish-shaped lantern.
Although his memories were incomplete, Gu Mang almost immediately recognized that the latter was Murong Mengze.
Back in the great hall, he had already felt that something was wrong with Mo Xi’s expression. After knowing Mo Xi for so long, he had never seen him so concerned about anyone. At the time, Gu Mang had thought that this legendary “Princess Mengze” must be an exceptionally beautiful woman. Yet seeing her now amid the snow and lantern light, he felt that describing her merely as “beautiful” seemed too shallow.
Murong Mengze’s figure was not particularly striking, but she was tall and elegant, possessing an air of refined grace. The lantern light flowed across her delicate, fair face, giving it the luster of polished jade. Not to mention the slender white jade-like nape of her neck, revealed above her collar like a flower petal, her graceful neck making her already excellent bearing seem even more refined.
“…Mengze.”
Murong Mengze turned around. She froze for a moment, then smiled.
“Ah, Big Brother Mo. Long time no see.”
The woman dressed in red beside her was her personal maid, Yue Niang. Yue Niang also bowed toward Mo Xi and smiled.
“Greetings, Lord Xihe. May Lord Xihe enjoy peace and good fortune.”
Mo Xi walked toward Mengze.
“Why are you standing here? Aren’t you cold?”
“I just finished recuperating at Tangquan Palace. The lanterns are so beautiful, and they only appear like this once a year.” Mengze smiled. “I’m fine.”
Since she had already said so, Mo Xi did not know how to persuade her. But at that moment, a hand suddenly lifted and gently touched her temple.
“Go back inside. It’s very cold outside.”
As the precious princess she was, Mengze was rarely approached so casually by anyone. She instinctively stepped backward. But when she saw who the person following behind Mo Xi was, her expression changed slightly.
“Marshal Gu…”
As the man who had once been the best at winning women’s hearts in all of Chonghua, Gu Mang still retained some gentleness toward women deep in his bones. So although he felt a vague and inexplicable displeasure at seeing Mo Xi being so close to this woman, he still kindly said,
“The snow is so heavy. Your ears have turned red from the cold.”
Murong Mengze was momentarily speechless.
Although she had already learned about Gu Mang’s condition before returning, suddenly coming into such close contact with this traitorous demon was still somewhat difficult for her to accept.
Yue Niang had a fiery temper and could not tolerate the slightest offense. She angrily snapped at Gu Mang,
“You traitorous dog! How dare you stretch your filthy hand out and touch my mistress? If it weren’t for you back then—”
“Enough.” Murong Mengze interrupted her softly. “Don’t say it.”
Yue Niang pouted.
“Princess, why are you always so good-tempered… I-I feel wronged on your behalf!”
“What nonsense.” Murong Mengze spoke gently, but there was a hint of authority in her voice. “Yue Niang, stop making a fuss. Go inside and warm yourself first.”
“…Yes…”
Although Yue Niang answered reluctantly, before leaving she still glared fiercely at Gu Mang, her cheeks puffed up with anger.
After sending Yue Niang away, Murong Mengze turned to Mo Xi.
“He… is living at your residence now?”
There was no need to say who she meant. Mo Xi gave a quiet “Mm.”
Murong Mengze lowered her lashes and sighed.
“…I don’t want to say too much. You have been hurt before. There are some things you need to be more careful about yourself.”
“I know.”
Gu Mang did not really understand what Mengze meant. He only felt that she had not allowed that fierce-looking girl to continue scolding him, so she should probably be a good person.
Just then, a plum blossom beside the terrace fell and landed in Mengze’s hair. Gu Mang reached out, intending to remove it for her…
But before his hand could touch Mengze, Mo Xi caught it.
Gu Mang said,
“There’s a flower in her hair…”
Mo Xi interrupted him, his voice revealing no emotion.
“This is Princess Mengze. Pay your respects.”
Mengze said,
“Forget it. His spiritual consciousness is damaged. Whether he pays respects or not isn’t important.”
Gu Mang said nothing. His blue eyes moved left and right as he looked at Mengze, then at Mo Xi.
Finally, he slowly lowered his head.
“I only wanted to help…”
“…”
Mo Xi paused, deciding to end the subject.
“You go back to the main hall first. I have some things to discuss with her.”
She had sent her away, and now he was sending him away.
So he, too, was someone who was meant to be dismissed, just like Yue Niang?
Gu Mang looked at Mo Xi and Mengze without saying anything. After a while, he silently turned around.
He had always been gentle and yielding toward women. He had been that way before losing his memory, and even now, that nature had not changed much.
He always felt that women were frail, delicate, and beautiful. They deserved the best protection. As for himself, he was rough and tough, a grown man, so he ought to give the good things to them and yield to them.
Therefore, he felt that Mo Xi was not wrong either. Princess Mengze was a princess, an extraordinarily noble female, and she deserved even more respect and care.
And he himself was dirty. He was a slave. It was indeed inappropriate for him to touch her.
But for some reason, his heart felt terribly sad.
He returned to the great hall, rubbed his fingers, which had also turned red from the cold, and then covered his ears…
By then, many guests had already arrived in the hall, but looking around, there was no familiar face.
This situation suddenly gave Gu Mang an intense feeling of helplessness, as though he were a dog abandoned in the wilderness.
Instinctively, he turned around, wanting to go find the only person he could rely on—Mo Xi.
But the moment he turned, he remembered that Mo Xi himself had sent him away.
He had nowhere to go.
So he could only stand blankly beside the terrace doorway, looking from afar at the two people beneath the lanterns.
Under the lanterns, Mo Xi lowered his head and spoke to Mengze. Mengze kept smiling, occasionally coughing several times. Later, Mo Xi seemed to ask her something. Mengze covered her mouth as she coughed and then shook her head.
The distance was too great. Gu Mang could not hear anything, but Mo Xi’s features were deep and distinct, so even from that distance, Gu Mang could clearly see his expression.
Mo Xi very obviously sighed. Then he removed the outer robe of his military uniform and handed it to Murong Mengze.
He did not personally drape it over Mengze, nor did he make any other gesture. Yet for some reason, when Gu Mang saw this scene, his heart suddenly gave another sharp, painful tug.
Gu Mang frowned and raised a hand to press against his chest…
Before he could figure out what kind of emotion this was, scattered, strange conversations suddenly flashed through his mind—
“Senior Brother, I truly like you.”
It was Mo Xi’s voice, young and sincere, just like in his dreams.
“The Lord has bestowed upon me the title of Lord Xihe. From now on, I won’t have to look at anyone’s expression anymore. I’ll do everything I promised you. I want to be with you openly and honorably.”
“Gu Mang, I’ll give you a home. Wait for me a little longer, all right?”
“Believe me…”
The pain in his heart grew more and more intense, as though a thorn had taken root and sprouted inside him, only to be violently ripped out.
The old words had yet to fade from his ears, while before his eyes stood a perfect pair.
Gu Mang was in such pain that his body hunched slightly. He grabbed the doorframe of the terrace, lowered his head, and breathed heavily.
He could not fully understand what these words he had suddenly remembered meant. He could not remember what had happened before or after, nor the scene of their vows.
But this pain…
And the feelings he had experienced back then were carved so clearly into his bones and marrow that even breathing had become slightly difficult.
Deep in his subconscious, Gu Mang felt that this pain had not come without warning.
It was as though his past self had long ago predicted that this day would come, as though he had never truly believed Mo Xi’s promises in the first place.
Although the future Mo Xi had painted for him had been so beautiful, the young man in his memories seemed to want to promise him his entire life, his entire heart, his entire person, all his passion, and all his love in a single instant.
Gu Mang could feel that he had once wanted to believe him.
He had thought until it hurt, until he trembled, until everything shattered.
He had wanted to take Mo Xi’s hand, throw caution to the wind, and believe that Mo Xi loved him—and love him in return.
But when it came down to it, he had still been afraid.
Mo Xi was the favored son of Heaven, a noble of Chonghua, descended from four generations of military commanders.
And he was merely an insignificant person. This love was too heavy. In the end, he could not bear it.
He knew that one day Mo Xi would grow up, mature, and understand that his feelings toward Gu Mang had been nothing more than a moment of youthful passion.
A lifetime was long. The person who could accompany him to the end would never be a clumsy and lowly slave.
Yet it seemed that he had never said any of these things to Mo Xi back then.
And now, as he remembered them, he realized—
He had been afraid.
It was as though once he said it aloud, he would lose too terribly.
He had so little to begin with. He could not afford to lose his true heart as well.
To a noble, his heart perhaps meant nothing. It could be hurt, played with, abandoned, or even crushed into dust.
But to him, this tiny heart was his entire life, everything he possessed.
So Mo Xi could love him. He could lose his head for a moment and play at forbidden love with him.
But Gu Mang could not afford to love.
Fate had its distinctions between noble and lowly. Though he did not want to admit it, that was simply how life was. Closing one’s eyes could not make reality disappear.
His life was too fragile.
What Mo Xi wanted, he could not give.
What Mo Xi gave, he could not bear.
The best place for him was where he was now—standing beside the terrace, in a dark and inconspicuous corner, watching a romance of flowers, wind, snow, and moonlight that had nothing to do with him.
Then smiling…
But Gu Mang could not smile.
Vaguely, he knew that he ought to smile and let it go. There was a deeply rooted instinct protecting him.
But he was no longer the Marshal Gu he had once been.
He could not smile.
He turned his head away, not daring to look at the scene on the terrace any longer. Then, as though fleeing, he walked to the serving table and stood there for a while, waiting for the waves of pain in his heart to subside.
After a while, more and more guests arrived. As a heavily condemned criminal, Gu Mang stood there alone and stiffly, inevitably attracting many sidelong glances.
Several people who had blood feuds with Gu Mang kept their eyes fixed on him. If the occasion had not restrained them, they probably would have rushed over and torn him apart alive.
After Gu Mang slowly recovered, he felt that something was wrong.
He looked around.
Everywhere he looked were cold, hateful faces.
In a panic, he hurriedly grabbed some things from the serving table and stuffed them into his arms. Like a rat crossing the street with everyone shouting for it to be beaten, he fled in embarrassment, finally finding an inconspicuous corner and crouching down.
Only then did he discover that what he had grabbed was not very tasty.
His ability to forage really was terrible.
From the entire table of delicacies, he had somehow managed to take only two scallion-oil flatbreads.
They had scallions in them, and they were cold…
But at this point, he had no choice about what to pick. Gu Mang lowered his head and nibbled the flatbread in small bites.
He had just been eating silently when a warm, deep voice suddenly sounded behind him.
“Gu Mang? Why are you here?”
Gu Mang turned around with the flatbread still in his mouth and saw Jiang Yexue sitting in a wooden wheelchair, looking at him with slight surprise.
The man who had put the “necklace” around him…
Gu Mang relaxed.
He did not have much hostility toward this person. He even found him somewhat familiar and comforting. So, still biting the flatbread, he said quietly,
“Here, I’m not in the way.”
Jiang Yexue could easily imagine what kind of attitude everyone else would have toward him. He sighed.
“Where is Lord Xihe?”
“He’s accompanying the princess.”
“I see. No wonder. He would leave you here alone…”
Gu Mang swallowed a mouthful of flatbread and asked quietly,
“Why did you come here too? Do people not like you either?”
Jiang Yexue smiled.
“I suppose so.”
He glanced into the distance.
Yue Chenqing was happily talking to his Fourth Uncle, gesturing animatedly as he spoke. Yet Murong Chuyi, as usual, ignored him, wearing a completely indifferent expression. It was impossible to tell whether he had even listened to anything Yue Chenqing said.
Jiang Yexue watched for a while before turning his gaze away.
“I really am someone people don’t like.”
Gu Mang shifted over and made some room for him.
The two silently watched the fine snow drifting outside the window.
Suddenly, Gu Mang glanced at his legs.
“Why do you always sit?”
“…I was injured during the war. I could never stand again.”
Gu Mang did not immediately respond.
He took a few more bites of the flatbread. Unable to tolerate the taste of the scallion oil any longer, he suddenly held it out to Jiang Yexue.
“Want some?”
Jiang Yexue:
“…”
After a moment of silence, Jiang Yexue sighed.
“You’re still the same as before.”
Gu Mang’s eyes widened slightly.
“You knew me before too?”
Jiang Yexue smiled.
“…Who in all under Heaven doesn’t know you?”
Gu Mang said,
“I… don’t really understand.”
“I did know you before. You, I, Lord Xihe, and Lu Zhanxing often fought together in campaigns across the south and north.” As Jiang Yexue spoke, he glanced at the flatbread in Gu Mang’s hand. “Back then, when you couldn’t finish your food, you liked stuffing it into our hands too.”
Gu Mang stared at him blankly.
“Then you’re an old friend of mine too?”
“Yes.” Jiang Yexue said, “We went through life and death together.”
He sighed softly.
“That’s why I can’t hate you.”
Gu Mang lowered his eyes.
“But Mo Xi hates me.”
Jiang Yexue smiled faintly. His dark eyes gazed toward the night sky, carrying a tranquil and lucid light.
“Although that isn’t wrong, the person in this world who least wants to hate you is probably him.”
“…Really?”
“Yes.”
Snowflakes rested against the window lattice, dyed orange by the lantern light flowing from inside the hall.
Jiang Yexue adjusted the winter garment draped over his shoulders and watched the snow with Gu Mang for a while before saying,
“He actually treated you quite well in the past.”
Gu Mang said nothing.
Jiang Yexue’s voice was calm and low.
“When you were trapped and surrounded on all sides, he was willing to risk his life to save you. When you were seriously wounded and unconscious, he stayed by you for days and nights without even touching his bed. When you received honors and rewards, he was happier than if he himself had received the military merit. When you told jokes… he was such a serious person, yet he would sit among the soldiers and watch you. After watching you tell your stories with such animation, he would be the first one to laugh.”
“But you don’t remember any of this.”
He had experienced suffering and seen through life and death. There was no intense emotion mixed into his words. He was merely speaking calmly with an old friend about the past.
His tone and expression were both light.
Yet Gu Mang fell into a daze amid his words.
He seemed able to fish out some vague shadows, fragments of the past—
Inside a crowded, lively little tavern, the atmosphere was heated and the soldiers were shouting and laughing.
He stood on a chair, grinning as he bragged and chatted with the people below.
His gaze swept across the joyous, noisy faces beneath him. He could no longer remember them clearly.
But when he looked up, he saw the young man sitting beside the wine cabinet.
His back was straight, his gaze gentle, and through the lively crowd, he stared at Gu Mang with complete concentration.
The heartbeat of that moment was awakened once again now.
And there were the vows he had just remembered.
Although his former self had chosen not to believe them, no matter what, at least he could feel that when Mo Xi had spoken those words, he had been sincere—
“I truly like you.”
“I’ll give you a home.”
“Wait for me a little longer…”
Gu Mang closed his eyes and remained silent for a while.
Jiang Yexue said,
“If you hadn’t abandoned him, hurt him, and crossed his bottom line and touched his deepest taboo, how could he hate you? All this time, he had been protecting you. He was willing to shield you from every storm outside—yet you stabbed him beneath his very body.”
Gu Mang’s heart trembled.
Really?
Was it like that…?
He remembered Mo Xi gripping his hand tightly and pressing it against his chest as he whispered.
Mo Xi had said, You almost took my life.
“People’s hearts are made of flesh. He protected you for too long, and he gave everything he could give. He is a noble, one of the highest-born young masters in all of Chonghua. His ancestors had accumulated military achievements for generations, and his family’s honor was spotless. Yet for you, back then, he did almost everything he should and should not have done.”
“It was that final knife you gave him that made it impossible for him to protect you anymore.”
No one had ever said these things to Gu Mang.
Moreover, even if someone had told him several years earlier, he would never have believed them.
But his interactions with Mo Xi during this period, along with the memories he had recalled over these days, caused Gu Mang’s mind to become utterly tangled as he listened to Jiang Yexue’s quiet words.
Gu Mang’s blue eyes flickered.
“Why are you telling me all this?”
Jiang Yexue said,
“I was once your comrade, and his as well.”
He considered his words for a moment, his gaze somewhat complicated.
“I don’t really want to see the two of you hurt each other again.”
Gu Mang was dazed for a while, as though trying to grasp the last floating piece of straw with which to explain his past mistakes.
Almost helplessly, he said,
“But he also… he’s very fierce. He said I was dirty…”
“That’s because you don’t know that the thing he hates most in his entire life is betrayal.”
Gu Mang froze.
“Why does he hate that the most?”
Jiang Yexue was silent for a moment.
“Tonight, I only intended to chat with you casually, but…”
He paused, then sighed.
“Forget it. I’ve already said half of it, so it doesn’t matter. Let me ask you this: do you know how his father, Lord Fuling, died?”
Gu Mang shook his head.
“Because of a traitor.”
As Jiang Yexue spoke, he turned back to look at him.
“Back then, Lord Fuling was fighting the Liao army. Unexpectedly, his deputy commander defected to the enemy, betrayed them, and surrounded the military camp, forcing them into a desperate situation. In order to allow the civilians to evacuate, he was captured alive by that traitor.”
Gu Mang’s eyes widened.
“And then?”
“To curry favor with Lord Liao, that traitor personally killed Lord Fuling, cut off his head, seized his spiritual core, and presented it to the enemy nation. He was greatly rewarded for it—and afterward, that man, just like you back then, was directly made a general.”
The bloody words entered his ears and pierced straight into his heart.
Gu Mang’s hands trembled slightly.
“Even more ironically, in the family letter Lord Fuling had written but never managed to send, he was still praising that traitor for his loyalty and righteousness, saying that with such a brother, his family had nothing to worry about.”
Jiang Yexue looked down at his knees and sighed.
“He even wrote, ‘How could we say we have no clothes? I shall share my robes with you.'”
“…”
“Lord Fuling had entrusted his entire life and family fortune to that man, yet his brother did not even leave his family with an intact corpse. When the coffin entered the city, Lord Fuling’s flesh and bones were shattered, his limbs separated, and he had died without a complete body.”
Jiang Yexue turned to look at Gu Mang, whose face had gone pale.
“That year, Mo Xi was only seven years old.”
Gu Mang was as if a lump had lodged in his throat. He could not utter a single word.
“Gu Mang, do you understand now why Lord Xihe hates betrayal so much?”
Jiang Yexue paused before saying,
“You did almost the same thing as the man who killed his father.”
Gu Mang stared blankly at him, feeling a chill seep into even the cracks between his bones.
“…”
“Ask yourself honestly. Think about it yourself.”
Jiang Yexue let out a soft sigh.
“How saintly would he have to be to feel no resentment toward you at all?”