The walnut boat soared through the floating clouds beneath the vast canopy of sky. The pleasure boat kept pace with it, but the distance between them was drawn very far apart. Clearly, Murong Chuyi’s hatred of Jiang Yexue had reached an extreme, to the point that he was unwilling even to travel alongside him.
At dusk, the setting sun sank deep into the sea of clouds, and the glow flowing along the sides of the boats was like rivers in the mortal world. Gu Mang had never seen much of the world, and he had been leaning against the side of the boat, looking around the entire time. In those blue eyes, clear as though washed by rain, sometimes the golden crow sinking in the west was reflected, and sometimes distant mountains and vast waters.
Just as he was watching with great interest, something suddenly poked him twice on the calf.
Gu Mang turned around. At first, he did not see anyone. Lowering his gaze, he finally saw that it was actually a ceramic servant that had been enchanted with a spell, allowing it to walk and move on its own.
The servant had been crudely made. One eye was higher than the other, while its nose and mouth were all squashed together. Gu Mang found it hilarious and burst out laughing.
“Who made this? Hahaha, it’s so ugly!”
The bamboo curtain of the cabin was lifted and lowered, and Jiang Yexue emerged in his lotus-white robes. Sitting in a wooden wheelchair powered by flowing spiritual energy, he said to Gu Mang, “You did.”
“…”
Seeing Gu Mang’s shocked and bewildered expression, Jiang Yexue smiled.
“It was a long time ago, when you were still in the army. You saw me making clay figurines and insisted on making one yourself. It’s just that you didn’t have much patience back then. You always acted on a whim and abandoned things halfway. After following me for half of it, you got bored and simply drew the facial features carelessly.”
“So that’s how it was…”
Gu Mang examined the ugly clay figurine. Knowing that it had actually come from his own hands gave him a rather complicated feeling.
The clay figurine really did look quite old, with some of its paint already faded. It circled around Gu Mang, its crooked mouth opening and closing as it spoke clumsily and slowly.
“Eat… eat.”
Gu Mang rummaged around inside his sleeves and said helplessly, “I didn’t bring anything tasty. Besides, you’re a person made of clay. What do you need to eat for?”
The ugly clay figurine remained stubborn.
“Eat, eat!”
Gu Mang thought to himself that this stubborn look, with its features all scrunched together, actually resembled Mo Xi a little.
Of course, he could only think that privately. If Mo Xi himself found out, or if those women in Chonghua who were infatuated with Lord Xi He found out, he would have a lot to answer for.
Gu Mang dismissed it. “There’s nothing for you to eat. Go away.”
The ugly clay figurine stretched out its little hand and tugged at him.
“Eat, eat!”
Jiang Yexue laughed.
“It isn’t asking you for food. It’s telling you to go inside the cabin and eat.”
Gu Mang had assumed that traveling like this meant casually stuffing down some dry rations. He had not expected that they could actually sit down and eat, so he asked curiously, “Did you cook the food?”
“No.”
“Then forget it.”
Gu Mang shook his head vigorously. “Anything Lord Xi He makes is completely inedible.”
Jiang Yexue said, “I placed several little clay figures like this inside the walnut boat and cast some spells on them. They prepare all the food and dishes. Although it’s only simple fare…” He paused, then smiled. “It’s still somewhat better than what Lord Xi He makes.”
Only then did Gu Mang relax. But immediately afterward, he turned his head toward the distant pleasure boat and asked, “Aren’t we going to invite Little Dragon… cough, I mean, Mr. Murong to eat?”
“Little Uncle won’t come.”
Jiang Yexue’s expression dimmed slightly, becoming indistinct beneath the deepening colors of sunset. His fingers moved, and the wooden wheelchair turned around, heading toward the cabin.
“Let’s go.”
Inside the cabin, two more little clay figures were busy arranging dishes and pouring tea. But compared with the one Gu Mang had made, the two of them were far more attractive. Their noses were noses, their eyes were eyes, and one was male while the other was female, both with adorable, simple expressions.
The dishes on the table were certainly not exquisite, but they were fresh and delicious. The tea was also clear and sweet. Gu Mang did not like tea, so Jiang Yexue had prepared a pot of warm wine as well.
Mo Xi said, “Drink less.”
Jiang Yexue said gently, “Fragrant Snow Wine isn’t easy to get drunk on. If he likes it, just let him have some.”
Gu Mang licked his lips and smiled innocently.
Mo Xi glanced at the moist tip of his tongue as it slipped across his lips, somewhat displeased.
“Elder Qingxu, he is a convicted criminal. Why treat him according to the etiquette of the past?”
But despite saying that, he still let Gu Mang drink.
Fragrant Snow Wine indeed was not easy to get drunk on, but wine was still wine. Gu Mang became greedy for it for a while, finding it sweet and extremely delicious. After drinking more, he still began to feel the alcohol rising to his head.
On top of that, the food prepared by the little clay figures had a novel flavor of its own, and whenever more dishes or soup were needed, the little figures handled everything.
In order to watch several more times as the clay figures awkwardly ladled food with their clumsy little hands, Gu Mang stuffed down three more bowls than usual.
After finishing the meal, they each returned to their cabins to rest.
Because Gu Mang’s spiritual flow was unstable, and he had once experienced an outbreak of spiritual power while under Murong Lian, while their walnut boat was flying high in the sky and they could not afford to take risks, Mo Xi needed to keep an eye on him as much as possible.
Thus, that night, Gu Mang and Mo Xi slept in the same cabin.
“So full…”
Gu Mang held his stomach and groaned as he flopped face-first onto the bed.
“Get up.”
Mo Xi had a cleanliness obsession. He grabbed Gu Mang and forced him up.
“Go take a bath before sleeping.”
Gu Mang refused.
“I don’t want to wash.”
“If you don’t wash, get out onto the deck and sleep on the floor.”
Gu Mang actually hugged the blanket and prepared to go onto the deck to sleep in the wind.
Mo Xi’s sword-like brows shot upward in anger. He dragged him back and said sternly, “Who told you to go outside? Lie down.”
Gu Mang’s eyes were heavy with sleep, his blue eyes like a lake covered in mist.
“Can I not take a bath?”
“No.”
“Please, Lord Xi He…”
“No.”
“Master.”
“No.”
“Princess.”
“Are you deliberately trying to make me angry?”
Gu Mang pouted unhappily.
“Good junior brother…”
“…”
Mo Xi ground his back teeth.
“Gu Mang, wake up!”
Gu Mang’s brows nearly twisted into a knot as he slowly curled up.
“I really don’t want to wash… I don’t have any strength left… How about you help me wash?”
Mo Xi had still been wearing the stern expression of a strict teacher. Completely caught off guard by that reply, he suddenly became tongue-tied, and his expression grew somewhat awkward.
His imposing authority immediately weakened by three parts.
“…Don’t even think about it.”
Gu Mang sighed and collapsed onto the bed, lying sprawled out beneath the blankets. It seemed that he intended to sleep just like that.
Mo Xi could do nothing with him, so he went to the bathing area himself, washed, and changed into clean clothes.
He had assumed Gu Mang was merely being deliberately difficult because he did not want to bathe.
But when he returned, he saw Gu Mang curled deep within the bedding, clutching his stomach with a frown and quietly groaning. His soft black hair hung beside his pale cheeks.
There was no point pretending anymore.
Mo Xi froze for a moment and realized that he was genuinely uncomfortable.
He dried his damp hair as he walked to Gu Mang’s bedside and lowered his head.
“What happened? Still feeling unwell?”
Gu Mang’s long eyelashes trembled. He slowly opened his eyes a sliver. His translucent blue eyes carried a faint mist as he weakly glanced at Mo Xi and muttered,
“Mm. I ate too much… I’m too full. My stomach hurts.”
“…”
Mo Xi was silent for a long while before spitting out a single word.
“Serves you right.”
But he still sat down beside Gu Mang. With a dark expression, he beckoned to him.
“Get over here.”
Gu Mang hesitated.
He thought to himself that this man was already impossible to provoke under normal circumstances. Now that he was weak and lacking spiritual energy, he was even more impossible to provoke. A wise man did not fight when the odds were against him. If he was told to roll over, then he would roll over.
So he rolled twice across the bed until he reached Mo Xi’s hand, then sighed.
“Do I have to keep rolling?”
Mo Xi said, “Lie down and don’t move.”
Gu Mang obediently lay flat like a salted fish.
But by this point his clothes were already extremely disheveled. His collar had fallen completely open, exposing a large expanse of firm skin covered with old scars.
Mo Xi glanced at it, and his gaze darkened slightly.
He raised a hand and first pulled Gu Mang’s collar back into place. Only then did he place his hand over Gu Mang’s stomach and slowly massage it.
Gu Mang smacked his lips twice.
“Princess, are you punishing me for eating too much?”
Mo Xi replied irritably, “What do you think?”
It really could not be blamed on Gu Mang for being suspicious. Mo Xi’s personality was simply too twisted. He had made things difficult for Gu Mang so many times before that Gu Mang naturally thought this slightly forceful rubbing and pressing was another form of punishment.
It was not particularly painful, though. Although being massaged felt somewhat strange, the discomfort in his stomach actually began to ease under the repeated pressure.
Gu Mang lay on the bed, and gradually his gaze became hazy.
Finally, his head tilted to the side, his face resting against Mo Xi’s arm, and he drifted into a deep sleep.
That night, he dreamed again.
Those lost memories once more emitted a hazy light from within his rusted mind.
He dreamed of a low tent, the howling wind outside it, the fragrance of pear-blossom wine filling his nostrils, and the honey-like scent that belonged to Mo Xi.
It was the night of his coming-of-age ceremony.
Previously, he had only dreamed of Mo Xi kissing him before the memory abruptly broke off. For a long time afterward, Gu Mang had been bewildered about what happened next, and why the state they had both been in at the time had made him feel so restless and feverish.
But now, perhaps because of the influence of the wine, combined with Mo Xi sitting beside his bed and massaging his aching stomach, the steady rhythm of those movements seemed to overlap with another rhythm buried within his memories.
Like clouds parting and mist dispersing, he suddenly remembered.
That very night, he had brought along a book of erotic illustrations that he had found at an old book stall. With all sorts of mischievous intentions, he had planned to give Junior Brother Mo an adult coming-of-age gift.
He had never expected to set himself on fire instead, and in the end Mo Xi had pulled him down onto the bed…
The narrow wooden bed creaked beneath them.
Mo Xi had completely enveloped him, pressing and trapping him beneath his body. The other’s scent filled his nostrils, leaving him nowhere to escape.
Gu Mang did not remember what Mo Xi had said to him at the time. He only knew that by the time he realized what was happening, Mo Xi’s hands were already undoing his sash.
Those hands had been nervous, like a boy opening a gift he had long desperately desired.
And Gu Mang himself had been no better.
He even felt that he had been more nervous than Mo Xi.
Because all this time, in front of Mo Xi, he had always been completely at ease. He had been the one who tolerated and protected him. He had been Mo Xi’s “older brother.”
Yet when this young man pressed his heavy body firmly over him, Gu Mang suddenly felt that the positions they had occupied for so long had been reversed.
For the first time, he noticed that the young master he had doted on, protected, and feared others might hurt was not actually as obedient and restrained as he had imagined.
The man pressing down on him had broad shoulders and a powerful back, with astonishing strength.
And before this, Gu Mang had actually believed that this man needed—and needed only—his guidance and protection.
His Adam’s apple moved.
He licked his damp lips, his eyes shifting uneasily from side to side. He tried to find the familiar feeling of being the elder brother, but he could not find it.
Reflected in his eyes was Mo Xi’s face at that moment, overcome by desire.
That handsome, young, austere face was shrouded in the haze of love and desire, making Mo Xi’s normally cold and restrained black eyes seem somewhat lost, like a young beast that had accidentally fallen into a trap.
“Young” meant inexperienced, reckless, possessing endless strength waiting to break free.
“Beast” meant instinct, ambition, and boundless desire waiting to be released.
Gu Mang was stared at by those eyes.
Stared at without escape.
His clothes slipped away, like a shell being pried open, revealing trembling flesh and the damp, raw breath of the deep sea.
Mo Xi’s hot hand gripped his waist. The sensation made him hold his breath and let out a soft gasp. He swallowed, then slowly opened his moist eyes…
He saw Mo Xi as he removed his clothes.
It was truly… intensely stimulating and frightening.
The young man’s chest was broad, his waist slender yet his muscles firm and even. At that time, Mo Xi did not yet have many scars.
Especially over his heart.
Back then, Mo Xi’s chest had still been completely unblemished. There was no trace of the wound that Gu Mang would later personally inflict upon him.
Gu Mang looked at that powerful body, and the air around him seemed to solidify, pressing down on him until he could hardly breathe.
He did not know how things had become like this.
The person he had clearly intended to protect had instead taken on the posture of a possessor, forcefully and decisively invading the boundaries between them.
He had drunk too much wine at the time and could not retain too many details, but he could easily recall the sensation of being taken by his junior brother.
It had hurt.
Very badly.
Mo Xi had been too young then, and too reckless. He had restrained himself for so long, refusing to possess the man he had yearned for all this time. When he finally could no longer control himself, that suppressed desire erupted almost like vengeance.
Gu Mang remembered that he seemed to have said a great deal of nonsense at the time.
For the sake of his pride, for the sake of being able to face each other naturally the next day, or perhaps for some other reason, he seemed to have endured the pain, the collapse, and the choking sobs while repeatedly claiming that he had been with countless men and women.
Mo Xi had never been good at this sort of thing, nor did he know how to proceed. Hearing Gu Mang say such things only made his control slip further.
He remembered that Mo Xi later lifted him up and let him lean halfway against the headboard.
Under the candlelight, the young man’s eyes were slightly red.
That redness came from anger, unwillingness, love and desire, as well as grievance…
The young man held his face and kissed his cheek. Then he rose and looked down at him from above.
That handsome, austere face had become almost unfamiliar to him because of its obsession and love.
Before completely taking possession of him, he said,
“Senior Brother, look at me carefully. Then look down at yourself… I don’t care how many people you’ve been with before. I want you to see clearly…”
That suspended, uncertain anticipation was accompanied by the young man’s deep, sorrowful gaze, overflowing with love and desire.
“Who is the…” Mo Xi held him down, his hoarse voice carrying that frightening intensity straight into Gu Mang’s soul. “First man here.”
“Ah…!”
Gu Mang gave a muffled cry and threw his head back. He trembled as though his very soul had been torn apart. His eyes widened in shock, tears flowing down his face.
The waist that would never bend on the battlefield suddenly went limp, and darkness swam before his eyes.
He could no longer make sense of anything.
Pain, heat, even breathing seemed capable of scorching him. His heartbeat thundered in his ears. He felt every inch of his body trembling, as though his blood and flesh were burning from within.
When he finally regained his senses, he opened his moist eyes wide and watched the shifting candlelight flow across the roof of the tent.
The bed beneath their entwined bodies rocked heavily, producing a strange creaking sound.
Gu Mang remembered being held down by Mo Xi.
At first, Mo Xi’s movements had still been restrained. But later, the young man’s desire overwhelmed him, and the movements became increasingly intense, the pace growing faster and faster.
Gu Mang felt like soft clay in the other’s hands, his body softened by the alcohol as Mo Xi, half by force and half by consent, maneuvered him into various positions that allowed the two of them to cling closely together.
He could remember Mo Xi’s slightly parted lips as he panted.
He could remember the young man’s low breathing against his ear.
And he could remember the body moving repeatedly in the dim light.
What were they doing?
What did these actions give them? What did they mean?
The Gu Mang of the present knew none of it.
He only felt the same overwhelming stimulation within this dream of memory.
Yet that stimulation was wrapped in such heavy unease that it left him even more lost.
This physical entanglement, this complete intimacy—
What did it mean?
Was it some kind of bond?
Or a declaration of possession?
Mo Xi had said:
Look carefully. Who is your first man?
That tone was obsessive yet sorrowful, tender yet feverish…
It tormented his heart with such naked intensity.
He did not know how long the dream lasted.
Toward the end, everything became blurred and sticky, with light and shadow thrown into confusion.
Then, suddenly, an overwhelming wave of sensation surged through him.
Gu Mang could not help letting out the same hoarse moan as he had in his memory.
“J-Junior Brother… ah… ah…!”
As though he had suddenly stepped into empty space, Gu Mang abruptly opened his eyes.
He was breathing violently.
After the intense trembling came a tidal ebb.
His entire body was drenched in sweat. His moist lips were slightly parted, and his whole body was shaking.
His blue eyes slowly lifted through the haze—
His gaze was still confused.
Helpless.
Moist.
He could not quite distinguish what time or place it was.
He had never experienced such a sensation before.
In the past, a dream was a dream, and waking was waking. He had never before felt such a powerful sense of unreality even after jolting awake.
He remained where he was for a long while.
He was quiet for a long while.
He breathed for a long while.
Only gradually did his breathing slow, and only then did his blue eyes regain their focus.
Slowly, he raised his head.
He was still on the walnut boat.
Still inside the cabin.
The tent and the young versions of the two of them were gone.
He had finally returned to reality.
Gu Mang swallowed, like an abandoned dog that had just swum ashore from a freezing pool, and slowly raised his damp blue eyes.
What he met was Mo Xi’s face, illuminated by the candlelight, an expression of obvious stiffness upon it.
Gu Mang’s fingertips were still trembling. In an inexperienced, bewildered murmur, he said,
“Mo Xi?”
“…”
Still completely unable to understand, he asked,
“I… what happened to me…?”
As he spoke, he lowered his head and looked at his own hands, at his clothes soaked through with sweat, and then…
Gu Mang did not need to describe his condition in detail.
Mo Xi’s gaze swept downward, taking in all the disarray and dampness on his undergarments.
Then he fell into an even stranger silence.