Gu Mang lowered his head in front of him, his face still carrying the lingering flush from the dream, his breathing still somewhat hurried. He stared helplessly at his trousers.
“What is this?”
Gu Mang’s blue eyes were wide open, making him look especially like a pure and innocent little wolf cub. It was just that the topic this little wolf cub was bringing up was far too awkward. Mo Xi was thin-skinned by nature. Something like what Gu Mang had once done—bringing a copy of an erotic manual to him in high spirits to give him a “coming-of-age lesson”—was something he could never bring himself to do.
“I…” Gu Mang felt uneasy about this reaction from his own body. “I feel like something isn’t right… Am I sick?”
Mo Xi’s expression was complicated. After remaining silent for a long while, he asked, “What did you dream about?”
“I… I dreamed about the night you came of age again.”
“……”
Gu Mang lowered his damp eyelashes, his brows knitting tightly. Almost at a loss, he said, “I dreamed about you and me in the tent. You were pressing me down, and you told me to look down, and then you told me to make sure I saw…”
He had lost his consciousness and possessed very little sense of shame now, so he could say such exposed words with complete composure. If he knew how to describe it, he might really have calmly said something as blunt as you were fucking me.
Fortunately, he did not know how to phrase it.
But Mo Xi’s ears still turned red.
“You wanted me to see clearly who was—”
“I know.” Mo Xi abruptly interrupted him. He pursed his lips, the faint redness spreading from his ears all the way to their tips. “You don’t need to say anything more.”
Of course he remembered every word he had said back then. He had never been one to talk much during sex, and even less so when it was the first time he had taken Gu Mang. Those words—
Although Mo Xi could be particularly relentless in bed, often leaving Gu Mang sobbing and weak-waisted, begging for mercy, unless he was pushed to his absolute limit, he generally did not say anything outrageous.
Gu Mang, on the other hand, perhaps because he enjoyed making Mo Xi lose his temper, or perhaps simply because he could never keep his mouth shut, would always say things that made one’s face burn during their most intimate moments.
At the time, those words had been like oil poured onto flames, making young Mo Xi’s passion even more difficult to restrain. Everything in the world had become fuel and fire, while the man in his arms alone was water. Again and again, he sought the sweet spring hidden deep within him, trying to quench the burning heat consuming his heart.
That was why he had been so impulsive, so obsessive, so utterly unable to restrain himself when he said:
Look carefully. Who is the first man you have here?
Gu Mang stared blankly at him.
“What were we doing at that time?”
“……”
After waiting a while and receiving no answer from Mo Xi, Gu Mang became even more confused.
“That feeling was so strange. It clearly hurt, but…”
Mo Xi’s eyes suddenly widened.
Hurt?
Gu Mang noticed his expression.
“What’s wrong?”
Mo Xi bit his own lip, asking with almost some difficulty, “You felt… pain?”
Gu Mang nodded honestly.
“It hurt a lot.”
“……”
“When you went inside, you were too hard, too hot, and very… big, so it hurt especially badly.”
“……”
For a moment, Mo Xi felt as though something had lodged in his throat, leaving him utterly speechless.
He could not describe what he was feeling. This was the first time he had ever heard Gu Mang honestly describe what their first encounter had felt like—and it was only after Gu Mang’s memories had been shattered.
Although he was not insensitive, he had been able to tell from Gu Mang’s reactions at the time that he had not been particularly gentle.
Gu Mang had cried.
Later, he could barely move.
There had even been blood…
But when Mo Xi’s reason returned, he had been helpless and heartbroken, kissing his senior brother’s hair and murmuring apologies.
Gu Mang had opened those dark eyes filled with tears and looked at him, taking in the youth and innocence of the young man before him.
His Gu-shixiong, his Gu Mang-gege, had been drenched in sweat and utterly disheveled beneath him, yet he had still said:
“…It’s fine. It doesn’t hurt.”
When Gu Mang said it did not hurt, the long corners of his eyes were still wet and red, his voice thick with nasal congestion, softened by his physical weakness.
He was still his Gu Mang-gege.
Proud.
Tolerant.
Always worried about whether he might make the little junior brother he loved uncomfortable.
Even though he himself had not been comfortable.
There had been stimulation.
But how could it have been comfortable?
He was a man of iron and steel, not someone born to be possessed by another man. Nor was he truly as he claimed, someone who had wandered among countless beauties without leaving so much as a trace behind.
Even his visits to brothels had merely been a pretense. Every time, he would listen to a song, joke around with the girls for a while, then slip away.
He still had to do odd jobs and wash dishes to earn those few pitiful shell coins, exchanging them for snacks and little toys so he could coax that young master into no longer being sad because of the darkness hanging over his family.
He had always been “coaxing” Mo Xi.
Even in this matter, he had denied most of his own pain while smiling and admitting only the small portion of pleasure he had experienced.
“Only… pain?”
Gu Mang looked at him, and a vague uncertainty suddenly arose in his heart.
Although Mo Xi did not show any particularly obvious expression, and his voice remained deliberately normal, Gu Mang could still sense that something was wrong.
He was like an osmanthus tree that had been born many years earlier than Mo Xi, always sheltering him from wind and rain.
And Mo Xi was a cypress, a pine, or any other naturally extraordinary species of tree.
Mo Xi’s downfall and helplessness had merely been because he had not yet fully grown.
Gu Mang had protected him all along, glaring furiously at every violent wind that tried to break that sapling, shaking his branches of flowers and saying:
Stop bullying him. Come at me if you have a problem.
Later, that pine or cypress had grown.
It had become a towering tree.
But the osmanthus tree that had accompanied him during his youth had been merely an osmanthus tree from birth. It remained small and could never stand shoulder to shoulder with him.
That was something destined by fate, an ending written from the beginning.
The osmanthus gradually began looking up at the cypress, beginning to live beneath its shadow.
Later, it could no longer compete with those towering trees. It received no nourishment and could no longer absorb sunlight.
It could no longer bloom beautifully.
Then its roots rotted.
Its branches curled inward.
It withered.
No one would believe that such a hunched, frail little tree had once sheltered the towering cypress beside it from wind and rain, frost and snow.
Only inside its own rotten wooden heart did it still remember the cypress when it had been merely a sapling—so weak and youthful.
Thus, when one day it finally fell, turning into mud, dust, and earth, it still chose to become the spring soil beneath his feet.
It still instinctively, foolishly, tried to take care of him.
That was how Gu Mang cared for Mo Xi.
It was an instinct carved into his bones, rooted deep within him.
So even after losing his memories, he could still keenly sense when something was wrong with Mo Xi.
After hesitating for a while, he finally said:
“No. It wasn’t only pain.”
Gu Mang paused, thinking.
“I think I liked it. It felt good.”
He lifted his face. His features still carried the lingering springlike flush left by those hazy memories.
“I think I liked being needed by you.”
Mo Xi froze.
“Being needed by you… felt good.”
Gu Mang spoke softly.
“It wasn’t hatred. It wasn’t venting. You could obtain happiness from me. I think… that felt good.”
Mo Xi whispered, “…Do you know what you’re saying?”
“Yes.”
Gu Mang stared into his eyes, his expression astonishingly similar to that of the Gu-shixiong from years ago.
“I’m talking about how I felt back then. That night when you came of age. I remember it all now. There are some feelings I still can’t understand, and I don’t know how to describe them. But others… I know I liked very much.”
It was as though his heart had been struck hard.
Ever since Gu Mang had betrayed the country, Mo Xi had constantly been bewildered about what Gu Mang’s feelings toward him had truly been.
He often thought that Gu Mang had merely been humoring him.
Putting up with him.
Playing around with him.
Or simply having no way to escape because he had been too persistent.
Yet this single word—liked—had crossed the eight-year embankment of time and fallen into his ears.
For a moment, he did not know how to react.
“I’ve been living here with you all this time. I haven’t helped with anything, and I always make you angry. Why didn’t you tell me that I could still make you feel this way?”
Mo Xi froze.
Then he suddenly stood up.
His Adam’s apple moved, his eyes slightly red as he glared at him.
“Who—who said I like you?”
Gu Mang said, “But I remember that you were happy in the dream.”
“……”
“Even though you seemed very fierce, as though you were angry. I could feel that you liked me too.”
“……”
“You liked doing that with me, didn’t you?”
This was the first time Mo Xi had been thrown into such complete chaos in front of the amnesiac Gu Mang.
The tips of his ears were red enough to drip blood, yet he stubbornly maintained his cold expression.
“That… that was all a nonsensical dream. I think you’ve taken too much medicine and can no longer tell dreams from reality. You…”
His words abruptly stopped.
Gu Mang clearly did not believe what Mo Xi was saying.
But he could not outtalk Mo Xi, nor could he think of any other solution.
So, following his instincts, he suddenly sat up, grabbed Mo Xi by the collar, pulled him down, and firmly pressed his lips against Mo Xi’s.
Buzz.
All the blood in Mo Xi’s body rushed toward his head in an instant.
For a moment, his vision seemed to be filled with surging rivers and seas, leaving his mind completely blank.
Just like the countless times it had happened before, and just like the countless times Mo Xi had dreamed of it—
Gu Mang wrapped an arm around the back of his neck and pulled him down.
His damp lips pressed against Mo Xi’s, sucking and rubbing against them, his soft tongue slipping between Mo Xi’s lips and teeth, entangling with his.
No matter how completely their relationship had fallen apart, the body’s reaction was real.
The kiss was as intoxicating as it had been in the dream.
Gradually, both of their breathing became hurried, heating the air around them.
Just as Gu Mang became completely carried away, his blood burning hot, the tip of his tongue suddenly hurt.
Then Mo Xi violently pushed him away.
“You…”
Mo Xi was breathing heavily.
His usually cold, thin lips had taken on a faint flush from the passion just moments before, making him look even more captivating than usual.
Yet this beautiful man now had his brows drawn into an angry line, the light in his eyes practically turning into swords capable of piercing Gu Mang through.
He could not speak for a long while.
Finally, clutching the collar Gu Mang had wrinkled, he snarled:
“You… you are simply… shameless!”
Gu Mang wiped his lips.
That bite from Mo Xi had been far too harsh, like an animal panicking and lashing out, biting him until he bled.
But Gu Mang had finally confirmed one thing.
“You’re lying to me.”
Mo Xi: “……”
“That wasn’t a dream. It was real.”
Gu Mang glanced downward.
“You just… pressed against me.”
“…………”
A moment later, Mo Xi looked like a cat whose tail had been stepped on.
He swept aside the curtain and stormed out, his entire body radiating murderous fury.
Gu Mang followed, wanting to chase him, but Mo Xi angrily turned his head.
Under the faint moonlight, the edges of his ears were vividly red.
His dark brows were raised furiously as he pointed at Gu Mang.
“You stay right here! No one is allowed to hear a single word about what happened tonight! Otherwise, I’ll send you straight back to Luomei Villa!”
“Where are you going?”
“None of your business!”
“But aren’t you sleeping with me?”
Mo Xi was practically furious from embarrassment.
“Listen to me, Gu! A gentleman knows what he should and should not do. I won’t hold today’s rude and presumptuous behavior against you because your mind isn’t clear. But after I’ve taught you better, if you dare to—”
He became tongue-tied.
Even this so-called “gentleman” had no idea how to describe Gu Mang’s shameless behavior just now.
He could only viciously say:
“If you dare to do the same thing again and seduce me, I’ll make sure you regret it!”
His tone was vicious.
But paired with those lips, still opening and closing, their color made alluring by the kiss, his intimidation was inevitably weakened.
Instead of frightening Gu Mang, it triggered a flash of recognition in his mind.
It overlapped with the Mo-shixiong of the past whom he had often teased until he became furious with embarrassment.
Although so many concrete details from that time could no longer be restored, the emotions themselves were like an old wine cellar whose seal had finally been removed, releasing a rich fragrance of wine.
Gu Mang lowered his head and suddenly could not help letting out a laugh, just as he had in the past.
It would have been better if he had not laughed.
The instant he did, Mo Xi’s expression darkened another three shades.
His fingers cracked as he clenched them.
Fortunately, although Gu Mang had recovered some memories, he had not yet become as troublesome as he had been back then.
This little laugh had merely been an instinctive reaction.
When he saw that Mo Xi was unhappy, he immediately suppressed his smile and obediently knelt on the bed.
He said sincerely:
“I’m sorry. If you don’t like it, I won’t do it again. Please don’t send me back to Luomei Villa.”
Only then did Mo Xi leave, his anger still not entirely gone.
The moment he stepped outside the cabin, he happened to run into Jiang Yexue.
Jiang Yexue sat in his wooden wheelchair and looked up at Mo Xi in surprise.
“Lord Xihe, who made you angry? Why are you so furious?”
Mo Xi’s handsome face was still faintly flushed.
He pursed his lips and avoided looking at Jiang Yexue.
“No one made me angry. What are you doing here?”
Jiang Yexue smiled.
“I came to bring a blanket. Do you need it?”
“No.”
“Then what about Gu Mang?”
“He’s very hot. Let him sleep on a cool mat.”
“……”
Jiang Yexue sighed.
“You quarreled with him again?”
Mo Xi angrily flung his sleeve.
“Wasn’t that because he brought it upon himself!”
“You two really are something.”
Jiang Yexue smiled.
“When Gu Mang was mischievous before, he loved making you angry. Now that he has become like this, somehow he can still make you this angry…”
He paused, then continued gently:
“But no matter how unhappy you are, give him another blanket. His body isn’t what it used to be. He gets cold easily. If he catches a chill, having him with us will only cause more trouble. So don’t argue with him over this.”
“……”
Mo Xi said nothing.
After a while, he finally reached out and took the blanket Jiang Yexue had brought.
“Thank you.”
“Why be so polite with me?”
As Jiang Yexue spoke, he suddenly noticed something strange about Mo Xi’s face.
After hesitating for a moment, he could not help asking:
“Lord Xihe… what happened to your lips?”
Mo Xi raised a hand and touched his lips.
There was still blood on them.
“…Nothing. I bumped into the door.”
Jiang Yexue: “……”
After finally getting Jiang Yexue to leave, Mo Xi carried the blanket back into the cabin.
There was no one inside.
Gu Mang had already gone to bathe.
That made sense. After having such a dream just now, even his undergarments…
Mo Xi shook his head, trying to drive the image away.
Yet he still could not help remembering Gu Mang’s moist eyes and affectionate expression just moments earlier.
His heartbeat unforgivably accelerated.
Mo Xi cursed under his breath, tossed the blanket onto Gu Mang’s bed, then left the cabin without looking back.
He spent the entire night standing on the deck, letting the wind blow over him.
The next morning, when the sky was already bright, Gu Mang and Jiang Yexue emerged from their respective cabins one after another.
Jiang Yexue saw Mo Xi sitting beside the railing.
While tying up his dark hair, he smiled.
“Lord Xihe, you’re up early.”
Gu Mang, however, said:
“…Did you not sleep all night?”
Jiang Yexue froze.
He looked at Gu Mang, then at Mo Xi.
He was just about to ask something when Mo Xi viciously said to Gu Mang:
“Shut up.”
“……”
“You are not allowed to say a single word about yesterday’s dream—”
“I won’t mention a single word.”
Gu Mang interrupted him.
“I only forgot my memories. I didn’t forget how I felt.”
He paused.
“I can tell that it was a secret. I won’t tell anyone.”
Jiang Yexue stood beside them.
Although he did not know what exactly they were talking about, since the two of them were speaking this way, it was clearly not something he should ask about.
So he tactfully remained silent.
After roughly another half an hour, they finally arrived above the Dream Butterfly Archipelago.
Jiang Yexue took out a compass and silently recited a spell.
The compass shone brightly, pointing toward a small island to the southeast.
Looking down from the clouds, they could see that the entire island was lush with vegetation yet filled with a gloomy, sinister atmosphere.
Faint black-purple demonic aura swirled overhead like incense smoke.
Jiang Yexue said:
“This is Bat Island below us. We’ve arrived.”