Chapter 87
Lin Xiaoran’s decision to go to the US for a year-long study exchange was a huge blow to Gu Yang.
Although Gu Yang had been traveling for work frequently over the years, and Lin Xiaoran was often away for extended periods too, a year was an entirely different concept.
But Gu Yang understood that this opportunity was very important for Lin Xiaoran.
From the beginning, he had said he was willing to support Lin Xiaoran, to see him break free from any constraints and become the person he wanted to be.
He had spoken those words confidently, but now, it was difficult.
That night, Gu Yang couldn’t help himself and hugged Lin Xiaoran in bed, saying, “I regret it. Maybe Omega shouldn’t work after all. Can I just lock you in the house?”
Naturally, Lin Xiaoran kicked him out of the bed, with the added command, “Go sleep on the sofa!”
Even though he said this, Lin Xiaoran wouldn’t oppose his decision. He could only find another way.
Lin Xiaoran appeared unaffected on the outside, but inside, he wasn’t as at ease.
When the hospital leadership informed him about the exchange program, he had hesitated. If it were just him and Gu Yang, it wouldn’t have been such a big deal, since they were both adults who could handle it.
But now, there was a little one to consider.
People without children probably couldn’t fully understand how it felt.
Sometimes, after working a night shift and coming home, the little one would already be off to kindergarten, and when he returned in the evening, it felt like forever since they’d last seen each other. Lin Xiaoran would feel the pull in his heart.
The little one was the same. Every time he came back from school, the first thing he did was run to Lin Xiaoran, hugging his neck and showering him with kisses.
Knowing he would be away for a year, the little one would probably cry.
But after some hesitation, Lin Xiaoran chose to go.
This was an important opportunity for him, and while he wanted to be with Gu Yang and the little one, he could never give up his career or dreams for them.
There had to be sacrifices.
Still, he felt guilty toward Gu Yang and the little one.
Both of them had their own worries, but since it was the New Year, with the recent move to a new house, they invited Lin Lan and Gu Xiuyuan, along with their grandparents, to celebrate together. Since Chu Yan had not returned home for the holiday, Lin Xiaoran invited him as well.
The whole family was gathered, lively and joyful, and it distracted both of them from their concerns.
The little one was the happiest. Everyone who came over was someone who adored him, especially the grandparents. From the moment he was born, they treated him like a precious treasure.
Even his grandfather, over eighty years old, carried him around without getting tired.
Gu Xiuyuan always had an air of superiority when around Gu Yang, and to this day, Gu Yang didn’t have much to say to him. But when it came to his grandson, he had no pride at all. Whatever the little one said, he obeyed, often secretly sneaking the little one out to buy candy when Lin Xiaoran wasn’t looking.
Meanwhile, his grandmother and Lin Lan were busy preparing the New Year’s Eve dinner. Even while running around, they found time to steal a few moments to hold and cuddle the little one, expressing their deep affection.
Apart from them, there was also Chu Yan.
This time, Chu Yan brought a gift for the little one, who was absolutely thrilled, declaring it the best gift ever.
It was a painting.
Years ago, when Lin Xiaoran and Gu Yang got married, Chu Yan had given them a painting he had personally made, depicting the couple. Gu Yang had loved it so much that he framed it and hung it in their home.
The little one had been quite upset about not being included in the painting.
So, when he learned that Chu Yan had painted it, he couldn’t help but pull him aside and ask, “Brother, brother, why didn’t you paint me too? Didn’t you say you liked me the most? Please paint me in the picture, okay?”
The little one had an innate charm, and although no one had taught him, he would always call older boys and girls “brother” or “sister.”
Lin Xiaoran’s colleagues and Gu Yang’s secretaries would all be delighted when he addressed them this way.
But calling Chu Yan “brother” was pushing it—Chu Yan was a proper uncle.
Lin Xiaoran had corrected him many times, but in the end, the little one got confused. When he saw Chu Yan, he would greet him with “Uncle brother.”
Since then, Lin Xiaoran stopped correcting him. It wasn’t a big deal.
Now, the little one continued to call Chu Yan “brother.”
Chu Yan, in turn, indulged the little one completely. He adored him and would bring him all kinds of gifts—fun things, delicious treats, beautiful clothes, strange toys, and an endless wardrobe of clothes, most of which had come from Chu Yan.
So when the little one made a request, it was always granted.
This time, Chu Yan brought a new painting, one that featured their family of three.
The little one was overjoyed when he saw the painting and immediately began searching for a place to hang it. After much deliberation, he decided it would be best in his own room, so he could see it as soon as he opened his eyes.
Lin Xiaoran and Gu Yang indulged him, and the painting was indeed hung in his room.
The little one couldn’t contain his excitement and ran to his room several times a day.
After three days, the New Year festivities were over, and Lin Lan, Gu Xiuyuan, and the grandparents had to head back. They had many relatives to visit and various social obligations to fulfill, as visiting homes during the New Year was a tradition. So, they had to return.
Chu Yan stayed behind, not having much to do, and continued accompanying the little one.
However, he seemed somewhat distracted.
“What’s wrong? You seem troubled,” Lin Xiaoran asked.
That night, the little one went to bed early, and Gu Yang had some social events to attend. That left just Lin Xiaoran and Chu Yan together.
Lin Xiaoran was always straightforward, so when he noticed something was off, he just asked about it.
Chu Yan scratched his head, laughing somewhat shyly.
Lin Xiaoran had noticed this long ago. Chu Yan only showed this bashful, almost awkward smile in front of him, even though he was nearly a college graduate now.
It was as if he would always be a child in his big brother’s eyes.
It was kind of cute.
“Actually…” Chu Yan seemed to have no intention of hiding anything from him. “I ran into an old childhood friend recently. You probably know him too. He lived right across from our house, an older brother who’s four years older than me. He said he remembers you.”
Across from their house?
Lin Xiaoran blinked and began to think carefully.
He didn’t often talk about his childhood. He hadn’t wanted to bring it up before, but now, knowing how difficult it was for Gu Yang, he simply didn’t mention it. However, his memories from childhood were still quite vivid. So, he quickly recalled who Chu Yan was talking about. The boy was two or three years younger than him.
He didn’t remember much, only that the boy was quiet, just like him.
He nodded, “I remember a little.”
“His name is Yan Huai. When I was often locked inside the house, he would play with me through the security door, sharing his snacks with me. Later, when I went to elementary school, we ended up at the same school. If anyone bullied me, he’d help me fight them off and take me to eat delicious food. But one summer, when I was in junior high, he suddenly got taken away. I found out later that he was the illegitimate son of a wealthy family. His family didn’t want him at first, but after his father died in a car accident and the family lost its heir, they came to take him back.”
After that, they lost contact.
Chu Yan tried many ways to find him, but all the contact methods he had were no longer in use. His calls wouldn’t go through, and the messages he sent disappeared without a trace.
Even Yan Huai’s grandparents, who had lived next door, moved away.
Chu Yan thought he would never see him again, but then, at a recent team annual meeting, the boss proudly introduced their new benefactor—Yan Huai.
At that moment, Chu Yan thought he was dreaming. He looked at the man who had been invited to the stage, and though he looked exactly like the boy from his memories, he felt like he was someone completely different. It took him a long time to process it, and he didn’t dare to approach him.
But then, in front of everyone, the man walked through the crowd, came right up to him, and gently tapped his forehead. With a smile, he said, “Oh, Yan Shen, you’re so forgetful, I bet you don’t even remember me anymore.”
Only then did Chu Yan realize he hadn’t mistaken him, and he was overjoyed.
He could tell Yan Huai was just as happy to see him. For the next while, Yan Huai visited him almost every day at school, just like old times, taking him to eat all kinds of delicious food.
Yan Huai had changed quite a lot. He wasn’t the same neighborly older brother from back then, but when they hung out, there was no pressure, and it felt just like before.
Chu Yan had always treasured their friendship because Yan Huai was his first real friend, someone who had helped him a lot. He sometimes thought that if it wasn’t for Yan Huai playing with him through the security door when he was locked inside, he might have ended up with depression or social isolation.
So, reuniting with Yan Huai made him incredibly happy.
But for some reason, Yan Huai suddenly stopped talking to him.
Lin Xiaoran had never heard Chu Yan talk about his childhood. When he first saw Chu Yan, he had assumed that his parents had finally learned to be proper parents after having him. It seemed he had been wrong.
Chu Yan’s experience was quite similar to his own, so Lin Xiaoran understood why Chu Yan valued his friendship with Yan Huai so much.
“Did you two talk about anything?” Lin Xiaoran asked.
Chu Yan shook his head. “Not really. He just asked me about my plans for the New Year. I was so happy to tell him I was going to my brother’s house to celebrate. He used to know I really wanted to meet you, so after we met, I told him I had found you, and I talked to him about a lot of things about you. I even showed him your photos.”
“And then he stopped talking to you?” Lin Xiaoran asked.
Chu Yan nodded, his voice growing softer. “At that time, I didn’t think much of it. The next day, I came here. During the New Year, I sent him a message to wish him well, but he didn’t reply. I thought he might be busy, but when I called him yesterday, he didn’t pick up, and he still hasn’t responded. I’m a bit worried…”
His voice became even quieter. “I’m afraid he’s disappeared again, like before, and I won’t be able to find him.”
“I think,” Lin Xiaoran said practically, “he might just not like me.”
“Ah?” Chu Yan’s delicate face showed confusion. “But, he only remembers the older brother from when we were kids. He even said I looked good back then. He hasn’t seen you now, so why would he dislike you?”
Lin Xiaoran shrugged. “Who knows? Do you know where he lives?”
“Mm, I’ve been there once.” Chu Yan nodded.
“Then go find him and ask him directly,” Lin Xiaoran suggested. He had never been one for hesitation or beating around the bush. If there was something to be said, just say it. Once things were clear, there would be no problem.
But Chu Yan wasn’t as direct in his thinking. “Go now?”
“Well, if you’re not in a hurry, tomorrow’s fine. But I suggest going now, or you might not be able to sleep tonight,” Lin Xiaoran said, looking at him.
Chu Yan felt a little embarrassed by his suggestion, scratched his head, and bit his lip. “Okay, let’s go now.”
Lin Xiaoran stood up as well. “I’ll drive you.” He said as he headed upstairs to change his clothes.
Chu Yan was a bit nervous at first. He thought it might be strange to go to Yan Huai’s house so late at night and ask directly if he was upset. But when he saw Lin Xiaoran come down the stairs, he suddenly stopped feeling so anxious.
What was there to be nervous about? If he had really said something to upset Yan Huai, then he would just apologize after clearing things up. If Yan Huai wasn’t angry and had simply been too busy to reply, then asking him would give Chu Yan peace of mind.
It turned out that his brother’s way of handling things was the most practical and effective.
Yan Huai’s place wasn’t far from Lin Xiaoran’s house. It only took about twenty minutes by car to get there.
Chu Yan sat in the car and sent Yan Huai a message: I’m downstairs at your place, can you come out for a moment? I want to talk to you.
He still felt it wasn’t very polite to just go up and knock on his door directly, so he sent the message first. He planned to wait five minutes; if there was no reply, he would go up and knock.
After five minutes, a tall, well-built figure walked out from inside.
Chu Yan’s eyes brightened. He greeted Lin Xiaoran briefly and opened the car door, running toward him.
From the car window, Lin Xiaoran saw Yan Huai. He looked good, but his appearance didn’t quite match his childhood memory. After all, back then, Lin Xiaoran himself was only about five or six years old, and Yan Huai was only three or four, so his memory wasn’t clear.
However, it was obvious that Chu Yan was very happy to see Yan Huai. It was like a weight had been lifted from his heart.
Indeed, at least Yan Huai had shown up, which meant he hadn’t disappeared like before, vanishing without a trace.
“Uh… Happy New Year,” Chu Yan said. Although he had come after Lin Xiaoran’s advice and found it practical, when he saw Yan Huai, he realized that he couldn’t bring himself to ask right away. After stammering for a while, those were the only words that came out.
Though it hadn’t snowed in the past few days, winter in the north was still quite cold.
Chu Yan suddenly stepped out of the warm car and into the biting wind. His cheeks turned red from the cold, but his eyes sparkled with brightness.
Yan Huai saw how he was shivering and softened. He reached out to pull him. “It’s cold outside, come inside.”
Seeing that Yan Huai was speaking to him normally, without seeming angry, Chu Yan breathed a sigh of relief. He quickly shook his head. “No, my brother is still waiting for me in the car. I have to go back soon.” He gestured back toward Lin Xiaoran.
But suddenly, Yan Huai withdrew his hand. “You came all the way here late at night just to wish me a Happy New Year?”
Huh?
It felt like his tone had turned a little colder.
Chu Yan couldn’t help but glance at him, then turned to look back at Lin Xiaoran.
Could it be that his brother was right, and Yan Huai didn’t like him after all?
Why?
“Uh…” Chu Yan felt a bit sad, his hands unconsciously clenched. “Yan Huai, do you… not like my brother? Is the reason you’ve been ignoring me lately because of him?”
Although the question felt awkward, from Yan Huai’s reaction, it seemed like there might be some truth to it.
Chu Yan hoped he was wrong, because both of these people were very important to him.
Yan Huai hadn’t expected Chu Yan to ask directly. Of course, he didn’t dislike Lin Xiaoran—they had never even interacted, so how could he dislike him? But…
He looked at Chu Yan, paused, and then said, “I just feel like… you already have a brother, so whether or not I’m here doesn’t really matter.”
Huh?
Chu Yan looked at him in confusion. What did he mean by that? The way he said it sounded a bit childish.
It felt like something a child would say when they had a falling out—You’re friends with someone else, so I’m not going to play with you anymore.
But Yan Huai was actually throwing a little tantrum because of this?
Chu Yan couldn’t help but laugh.
Yan Huai felt even more awkward and tried to act like he wasn’t embarrassed, turning his gaze away to avoid looking at him.
Actually, he himself thought the whole situation was a bit strange. Lin Xiaoran was Chu Yan’s real brother, and it was perfectly normal for Chu Yan to call him “brother.” But hearing Chu Yan constantly say “my brother” over and over—it really irritated him.
When they were kids, Chu Yan had always called him “Brother Yan Huai.” Now, hearing him call someone else “brother,” it stirred something inside him, an uncomfortable feeling.
It felt like the Chu Yan who had always been by his side as a child was being “taken away” by someone else.
Chu Yan had no idea what Yan Huai was thinking. To him, it was amusing to see the four-year-older Yan Huai throwing a tantrum. But after laughing, he immediately became serious and explained earnestly, “So you’re upset because I don’t call you ‘Brother Yan Huai’ anymore, and I call someone else ‘brother’? But he’s my real brother! What else should I call him? As for you, I just thought it would be a little weird to still call you ‘Brother Yan Huai’ since I’m older now, so I started calling you by your name. If you don’t like that, I can start calling you ‘Brother Yan Huai’ from now on. Is that okay?”
When their eyes met, Chu Yan’s expression was serious but a bit tentative, and Yan Huai suddenly felt uncertain.
Was he really angry because Chu Yan didn’t call him “Brother Yan Huai” but called Lin Xiaoran “brother”?
Was it that he felt neglected by Chu Yan?
Moreover, what was so great about always being called “brother” by Chu Yan?
It seemed that he wasn’t very comfortable with that either.
“Let’s just stick with names,” Yan Huai said.
“Huh?” Chu Yan was confused, looking like a little rabbit, his eyes bright with curiosity.
Yan Huai couldn’t help but reach over and pinch his cheek. “Just call me by my name! Isn’t your brother waiting for you? Come on, let’s go say hi to him.”
With that, he pulled Chu Yan toward Lin Xiaoran.
From the car, Lin Xiaoran saw them coming and got out, opening the door.
Yan Huai quickened his pace, and when he reached Lin Xiaoran, he extended his hand. “Hi, I’m Yan Huai. I think we met when we were kids.”
Lin Xiaoran shook his hand and nodded. “Lin Xiaoran.”
But inside, he was a bit puzzled by Yan Huai’s attitude. He had watched him walk over, and it seemed like he was really eager. When greeting him, he even called him “brother” right away, just like Chu Yan did.
Although he was Chu Yan’s friend and there was no issue with calling him “brother,” Lin Xiaoran still felt something was off.
On the way back, after hearing Chu Yan explain why Yan Huai was upset, he felt even more uneasy.
Lin Xiaoran wasn’t particularly sharp when it came to emotions, but he had gone through his own experiences. As an outsider, he had a clearer view of the situation, and it seemed that Yan Huai might like Chu Yan, which explained why he was feeling jealous over something so trivial.
As for Chu Yan…
He turned to look at his younger brother in the passenger seat, who was now beaming with joy because Yan Huai wasn’t throwing a tantrum anymore. The corners of his mouth were lifted, and he hadn’t gotten out of the car yet.
It seemed that, most likely, he liked him without even realizing it.
However, he didn’t bring it up. It was better for the person involved to process such things on their own.
Before going to bed that night, he casually mentioned it to Gu Yang. Gu Yang wasn’t the type to meddle in other people’s affairs, so he simply acknowledged it without much interest. What mattered more to him was that Lin Xiaoran would be leaving after the Lantern Festival.
Due to the busy New Year festivities, the inevitable farewell had been delayed, but now it was being brought up.
Lin Xiaoran personally told the little one about the upcoming departure.
A three-year-old child found it hard to comprehend the concept of separation, but in his mind, a year felt like an eternity. So, when he heard that Lin Xiaoran would be gone for a whole year, he immediately rushed over and hugged Lin Xiaoran’s neck, crying, “I don’t want Daddy to leave. Can I go with Daddy? I want to stay with Daddy. Is that okay?”
Although Lin Xiaoran had expected this reaction, seeing the little one looking so pitiful still made his heart ache.
Luckily, the little one was still quite obedient. Lin Xiaoran comforted him, promising that they would video call every night and that he would return whenever possible. Gradually, the little one stopped crying.
However, in the following days, the little one became even more clingy, insisting on hugging Lin Xiaoran every night to sleep.
Gu Yang appeared to be handling things normally. He made sure everything was in order, checked multiple times with the American side to confirm everything was settled, and then sent him to the airport.
The little one didn’t go to the airport that day. Lin Xiaoran was afraid that he would cry at the airport, which would make it even harder for him, so he didn’t tell anyone else. Only Gu Yang accompanied him.
During the security check, Lin Xiaoran glanced back at Gu Yang, who was standing behind the crowd, looking at him.
When Gu Yang saw him turn, he smiled and waved, looking effortlessly cool.
Gu Yang’s smile was very charming, with his almond-shaped eyes naturally suited to a smile. But for some reason, Lin Xiaoran suddenly felt a wave of discomfort in his chest. He turned and walked through the crowd, heading straight for Gu Yang.
The moment they appeared in the airport, their presence naturally attracted the attention of passersby.
As Lin Xiaoran made his way through the crowd towards Gu Yang, all eyes were drawn to them.
Lin Xiaoran didn’t mind. He walked step by step until he reached Gu Yang, and at that moment, Gu Yang instantly understood what he intended. He opened his arms and hugged him tightly.
Lin Xiaoran wasn’t a person who was overly sentimental. When he decided to go to the United States, he thought the hardest thing to leave behind would be the child. He had spent a lot of time with the little one in the past few days, but in doing so, he had somewhat neglected Gu Yang.
It was only at this moment, seeing Gu Yang standing alone behind the crowd, pretending to be relaxed as he waved, that Lin Xiaoran realized that he, too, couldn’t bear to part with Gu Yang.
But regardless of how he felt, he still had to leave.
After a brief moment, he loosened his hold on Gu Yang. “I’m going.”
Gu Yang rubbed his hair, smiling and nodding. “Go ahead. I’ll come visit you when I have time.”
Lin Xiaoran waved his hand and finally turned to walk away.
Gu Yang stood by the security checkpoint, watching until Lin Xiaoran’s figure completely disappeared from view. Only then did he let out a quiet sigh. When he turned to leave, the forced smile on his face was long gone.